Looking Back on 2021

Goodbye 2021, hello 2022, and Happy belated New Year to you all!

I can't believe we're already four weeks in to the new year. This month has gone so quickly, which is weird since I've been unwell for most of it, and I've only left the house twice since Christmas for boring medical appointments. It's going to be Christmas again before we know it.

I don't know about you, but my year hasn't got off to the best start. I haven't been so well over the last few weeks- I've had some pretty nasty chronic pain and tachycardia flares, and have just been diagnosed with an ear infection, so, yeah... Happy New Year to me. I've just been hibernating and looking after myself, so I'm so behind with my blog posts. It's taken me a month to get this post written, but I'm back, and I'm going to try to catch up over the next week or two, starting with a look back on the delightful year that was 2021.

I'm grateful that I can say that despite the lockdowns and restrictions, 2021 was not the worst year of my life. It wasn't a particularly interesting or exciting year for me; I didn't achieve much, go to many new places, meet any new people, or even leave the house often, but if that's the worst I can say about a year when a contagious virus took thousands of lives, I consider myself lucky. 

I got through the year without myself or anyone close to me catching Covid, we didn't lose jobs or businesses or miss weddings or funerals like many did, and lockdown life was a piece of cake as it wasn't any different to my normal life of living housebound with chronic illness. I know others weren't so lucky, and most people found lockdown challenging, so I'm choosing to be grateful. My year could've been so much worse.

Between Covid and chronic illness, it was not a year of adventures, but I got to take my first holiday in four years, to Cornwall in September, which was a welcome break from normality, and the highlight of my year, We had a great time exploring more of the Cornish coast by car and tour bus, revisited Padstow, ate ice creams on the sea front, paddled in the sea at Perranporth, had a fun day out at Newquay Zoo, and sampled lots of delicious local food. (I'll be blogging about some of those Cornish adventures soon). We spent most of our time resting and couldn't take as many day trips as we would've liked, but it was just the break we needed after a year and a half of Covid life. 

Most of my other escapes from captivity were just visits to the supermarket, with the occasional trip in to town with my sister, but I did take a few fun day trips to The Cotswold Wildlife Park and Whipsnade Zoo in the summer, which were good for the soul. We also squeezed in a visit to The Appleton Christmas Barn in December, but that is about as exciting as 2021 got for me. I'd hoped to get out and about a lot more, and take more fun, socially-distanced visits to local places, but for various reasons- Covid restrictions, chronic illness, funds, life- it just wasn't possible.

The reality is, I spent most of the year at home in my PJs, playing Animal Crossing and FarmVille 3, trying and failing to blog, reading a lot of books (I smashed my Goodreads reading goal and got through 42!), watching TV, falling in to fatigue-induced naps, and just trying to get through each day with chronic pain, tachycardia, and all my other symptoms kicking my ass. It wasn't an easy year health-wise, but I got through it, a day at a time.

2021 was also the year I marked ten whole years of living with severe chronic pain and illness (2.0). Ten whole years of living in constant pain, battling fatigue and a plethora of other symptoms, dealing with my life being turned upside down, living housebound, diagnosis', medical appointments, scans, treatments, and all the usual hurdles that come with having chronic pain and illness. It was a weird milestone to reach, and hard to get my head around, but I also felt proud of myself for reaching it, and coping with all that I had. I was lucky enough to be on holiday when the anniversary arrived, so I was able to make the day much more pleasant than the one a decade ago by going out for breakfast, and spending time by the sea. I was far too relaxed and content to lose any sleep over it, which was a win for me.

As for blogging, 2021 was not my best year.  I was terrible at posting- mostly because of brain fog and just not feeling up to it- and I blogged less than any year since I began blogging here in 2012. It wasn't for lack of trying, as I tried to write almost every day, but the words wouldn't come, and the posts were still few and far between. I found my groove again for a while in December, and hoped I could continue the pace this year, but as you may have noticed, I've not exactly got off to the best start. Must do better.

Sadly, the year didn't end positively for my family, after we lost my Uncle very suddenly in early November. Since childhood, I only really saw him at family gatherings as we didn't live nearby, but he was a lovely guy, and nobody had a bad word to say about him. His death has hit my parents hard, and I feel awful for my Auntie who's now all alone. I know it's a cliché, but it makes you realise how short and precious life is, and how you should never take it for granted. You never know what's around the corner.

I think the last two years with Covid have taught us that, too.

Except for the loss of my Uncle, I know my year could have been a lot worse, and I'm grateful that, for the most part, all I had to worry about was illness and boredom. Despite Covid, I still had some great times, and made some happy memories with my family. There was some good in every day, and I did my best to appreciate the little things in life, like good books, sunny days, and cuddles with my dog.

I'm glad 2021 is over, though, and I'm hopeful that 2022 will be a better year for us all, free from lockdowns, harsh restrictions, and Covid-19. Here's hoping it brings a lot more adventures, good times, health, wealth, and happiness. It can't be any worse than the last two years, right? (Y'know what, don't answer that).

Goodbye 2021.

Hello 2022. I'm ready for you, but please be kind.

What's the best thing that happened to you in 2021?

Looking Back on 2020

Well, that was unexpected.

When we said '2020, do your worst', this wasn't exactly what we meant! 

Twelve months ago, when we were looking to the year ahead, I don't think anyone could've imagined where the year would take us. How could we have done? Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that we'd be living through a deadly global pandemic. Not in my life time, not in the Western world and definitely not in suburban England. Things like that happened in sci-fi novels, and over-imaginative disaster films created on Hollywood sets, not in real life. It couldn't possibly happen in reality.

Or so I thought.

How wrong I was!

That shit got real really fast. 

It was without a doubt one of the worst, most surreal years in living memory for almost all of us. It felt like we were acting a script for a disaster movie, but the threat to our lives, being locked down, shops running out of food and supplies, and people dying in their millions wasn't so entertaining in real life. It was worrying and frightening, stressful, humbling, and down right heartbreaking.

It was bizarre to see how quickly the world changed from the vibrant one we knew to one governed by restrictions, fear, and illness. How quickly we got used to our new normal of staying home, wearing face masks in public, staying at least two metres apart (or miles apart from family and friends we couldn't see all year), and sanitising our hands because our lives might literally have depended on it. It was a lot to deal with and get used to, but we all handled it like pros. 

Admittedly, spending months on lockdowns and tiered restrictions was probably much easier on me than it was on most of you. I'd already been living my own personal lockdown since I developed chronic pain and illness again in 2011, so I'd long since gotten used to staying home most of the time, and had already learned how to occupy my time at home years before the first lockdown began. I consider myself lucky that lockdown life wasn't a culture shock for me. I didn't have to get used to confinement or feel bored as I learnt how to fill my time from home or feel sad about never seeing family and friends. It already was my life and I'd already gone through the adjustment period, so it gave me one less thing to adjust to in 2020. For once, being chronically ill has it's advantages. 

That's not to say that I didn't find the lockdowns and restrictions hard at times. There were days I was overwhelmed with cabin fever like everyone else. For some reason, being told you can't go out is harder to accept than knowing you're physically unable to go out. I had to get used to spending more time with my family at home with nowhere to escape. (An introvert's nightmare). My medical care was on hold for most of the year, and my referral to pain management postponed. I didn't have occasional trips to the supermarket or shops to break up confinement for most of the year, which always kept me going through chronic illness life. I didn't even have daily walks to look forward to. In fact, I didn't leave the house for seven whole months from February to September (partly because I was shielding, and partly because my health was so bad I couldn't get down the stairs for months). I can count on two hands how many times I ventured out during the entire year. It's the most I've stayed at home since the year I became housebound. I made the best of it, but I'm not going to lie, it was hard. 

There was the stress of food and medicine shortages at the start of the pandemic; I remember scouring Amazon Pantry for tins of soup in March. My anxiety was all over the place for a while as I worried about my family catching and dying from the virus. I became one of those people who disinfects packages coming in to the house, which I've continued to do for peace of mind despite parcels supposedly carrying little risk. I never thought I'd be one of those people! I learnt to wear a face covering in public like second nature, keep as far away from other people as possible, and anti-bac my hands more than I've ever done in my life.

Who'd have thought that the must-have fashion accessory of the year would be a face covering, and the most-needed beauty product of 2020 would be anti-bacterial hand gel??

As well as being a rough year for the world, it was also another rough year for my health. My Arthritis and Fibromyalgia both worsened again, and flared more often, which was probably at least partially because of the added stress. The Arthritis in my knees and feet got so bad, there were weeks when I could barely bare weight on my legs at all, and I couldn't get down the stairs for months. My chronic back and spinal pain was also pretty hard to take at times, and my Fibro fatigue got much worse. I lost count how many times I dozed off while I was in the middle of something (most days), and how many times I woke up in the morning feeling more exhausted than before I went to sleep. I rolled with the punches and got through it a day at a time, but it was harder without regular medical appointments, and breaks from captivity to look forward to and keep me sane. It was surreal going from early February to November without a single medical appointment, when I'd normally have at least a couple of appointments a month, but also kind of nice to have a break from doctor's surgeries and hospitals after nine years of it all.

It was a year of negatives, but I feel fortunate that it wasn't a devastating year for my family personally, when millions of people around the world weren't so lucky. We all made it through unscathed. Nobody in my family developed Covid or got sick, and nobody lost their jobs or income, homes or businesses.  We're all still safe, and that's all that really matters. I'm grateful for that. 

There were no big adventures or achievements in 2020. We chose to cancel our holiday to Cornwall to keep ourselves safe, and a couple of concerts I'd been looking forward to got rescheduled again and again. It was disappointing, but I'd prefer disappointment to catching Covid or putting my family at risk.

I took a socially-distanced day trip to The Cotswold Wildlife Park in the autumn, and paid a quick visit to the Appleton Christmas Barn in December, which were the only two fun visits I took during the entire year. The literal handful of other times I left the house were just for trips to the supermarket or doctor's surgery.

2020 was all about appreciating the little things in life more than ever before. I made time to read almost every day and finished thirty-one books. I got addicted to Animal Crossing New Horizons and spent more hours playing on it every day than I'd care to admit. It was a great help to my anxiety, especially at the start of the pandemic, and a fun way to socialise with friends since we couldn't do so in the real world. I cross stitched a little, but not nearly enough. I watched a lot of movies and TV shows. I spent time with my dog and my family. I was also able to see a little of my sister and brother-in-law who moved back from Germany to our hometown at the end of the summer.

I saw the world through new eyes, and appreciated the little things more than ever before, like sunny days, pretty sunsets, watching squirrels foraging in the garden and red kites gliding overhead (from my bedroom window), having enough food in the cupboards, the first taste of foods we couldn't get hold of for months, cuddles with my dog, good books, creative hobbies, and conversations with friends. The little things became the big things, and often became the highlights of the day. 

One thing I do regret about 2020 is how little I blogged. In fact, I blogged less than any year since I began this blog in 2012. It wasn't for lack of trying, but I just wasn't in the right head space to get the words out, and I struggled to take the photos I needed because my chronic pain was so bad. I worked hard to make up for it in December, and at least finished the year off strong with lots of fun, festive posts. I hope I can improve on last year's blogging tally, and create more content in 2021. I'm not going to make any promises, and I'm not going to pressure myself, but I'm going to do my best, and we'll see what happens.

Looking ahead, life doesn't seem so hopeful right now. 2021 hasn't got off to the best start with Covid deaths and cases rising at a scary rate, restrictions tightening, and most of us going in to another lockdown, so it's hard to find much hope or enthusiasm for the year ahead. I want to believe that life will start getting better this year now that vaccines are being rolled out, but right now it feels like it never will. I'm just going to hold on to that little bit of hope that things will get better, and maybe a year from now, life will be a little more 'normal' again. It might take a bit longer, but we will get there. At least we know from history that pandemics always end eventually.

It might be another tough year for all of us, but I'm going to concentrate on getting through it one day at a time, and do my best to enjoy the little things as much as possible. I'm going to read and craft, blog, play Animal Crossing, watch movies, spend time with my family, appreciate nature, and try to get out of the house as often as I can. I'm going to look for the positives in my daily life as much as possible, appreciate what I have, and hope for a more positive year than the one we've left behind.       

I hope it's a more positive year for you, too.                                                      

Here's to a safe and happy, Covid-free year ahead for all of us. 

2021, please don't do your worst.

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Looking Back On 2019

Hello 2020, goodbye 2019!

I can't believe another year has come and passed, and it's already time to look back on another year of my life with a mix of nostalgia and regret.  It only feels like a minute since I was reflecting on 2018. Where has the time gone?? I swear 2019 was the shortest year yet.

I wish I could say that 2019 was the best year of my life; a year full of achievements, fun experiences, milestones, wealth, health, and romance, but if I did I would be lying through my teeth. In all honesty, 2019 was a pretty boring and uneventful year for me. I achieved very little, I didn't reach any big milestones, I didn't have many fun experiences, my health was crap, and there was certainly no wealth or romance in my life during the past twelve months.

I can count on two hands with fingers to spare how many times I even left the house last year, and apart from a trip to the zoo in July, and two fun trips away in February and October to see Boyzone live again before they split, my only ventures out of the house were for medical appointments or unnoteworthy visits to the shops with my Mum or sister. That's literally it. I'm not even kidding. I'm beginning to wonder if I actually lived the last year of my life at all.

It's not that I didn't want or try to live my life to the full last year- I didn't want to do anything more- but my health had other ideas, and decided to hold me hostage for another year. Nobody came to rescue me; I'm quite disappointed. Without droning on about my health too much, basically some of my conditions degenerated further in 2019. My Fibromyalgia pains and flares were more intense; my Arthritis inflicted a lot more pain, stiffness, and swelling in all my bones and joints; my chronic spinal pain was a daily challenge; and fatigue zapped the life out of me. I also managed to do some further damage to my spine in August, thanks to my existing Degenerative Disc Disease, and knocked one of the facets in my neck out of place. I spent the last third of 2019 with intense pain in the back of my head and reduced mobility in my neck, doing daily physio stretches to try to help myself heal. I'm still not back to normal. With all these physical challenges kicking my ass, I couldn't get out and about much, and 2019 was more about getting from one day to the next than having fun, making memories, and achieving goals. C'est la vie. On the plus side, I survived my eighth year housebound with chronic pain and illness and managed to stay upbeat most of the time, so go me!

While I didn't do anything exciting or achieve anything noteworthy last year, I did find plenty of ways to keep myself occupied at home, and made some small victories. I crafted, I cross stitched, I watched movies, I listened to a lot of music, I took a bunch of photos, I spent time with my dog and my family, I kept two plants alive, I found solace online, I collected a lot of Erstwilder brooches, I spent more hours playing Animal Crossing New Leaf every day than I'd care to admit, and I rekindled my love of reading. 

I set myself the goal of reading 25 books in 2019, and totally smashed my expectations by reading 47 books by New Year's Eve, which is something I'm really proud of. I haven't read so much in a year since I was in primary school! I guess being unable to move, and too brain-fogged to blog have their advantages- it left me more time to read! I read almost every day and lapped up books like there was no tomorrow, discovered new authors and particularly fell back in love with psychological thrillers. I loved getting lost in so many new books, and I'm happy that I at least achieved something worthwhile last year. I'm hoping to read even more in 2020, but I'll talk more about that when I share my goals for the year ahead later this week.

So what else happened in 2019?

♥ I saw Boyzone live with Marie in February.

♥ I celebrated my blog's 7th birthday.

♥ I came in as a runner up in a Hobbycraft competition with one of my cross stitches.

♥ I turned 34.

♥ I spent my birthday visiting The Cotswold Wildlife Park for the millionth time.

♥ I spent a few nights in London in October seeing Boyzone live for the final time with Marie.

♥ We did some shopping in Westfield.

♥ We discovered Doughnut Time doughnuts and Crème cookies and oh my God, they were the best discoveries ever!

♥ My dog, Rosie, turned 4 and I made her pupcakes for the first time.

And that's about as exciting as my life gets these days.

Fingers crossed I can get out and about and have more experiences in 2020, because 2019 was kinda pathetic. It wasn't a bad year- I've had worse- it was just kinda dull.

I also blogged less in 2019 than any year since I began Polka Spots and Freckle Dots in 2012. It wasn't for lack of trying; I sat at my laptop almost every day and attempted to write for hours, but more often than not, the words just wouldn't come. I was so brain fogged most of the year (another wonderful side-effect of my Fibromyalgia) that I had the worst time recalling words and stringing coherent sentences together, which was not only frustrating as hell, but meant that my blog suffered for it and had to take a back seat. Sometimes it took me a fortnight to put one post together, and other times I couldn't create at all. Or when I could write, I couldn't take the photos I needed to finish a post because of the pain and injury to my neck. It wasn't the year I'd hoped for my blog, but I did still blog a little, worked with some fantastic brands, celebrated my 7th blog birthday, and managed to get back in to the swing of things in December. 

Some of my favourite posts from 2019 include:

♥ Snow Day
♥ Vendula London La Bicyclette de Vendula Box Bag Review
♥ Polka Spots and Freckle Dots Turns Seven
♥ Mal Paper Daily Goal Setter Planner Review
♥ Erstwilder Endangered Animals Brooches
♥ Turning Thirty Four and What I Got For My Birthday
♥ Erstwilder Halloween Jewellery
♥ Essie Nail Polish Advent Calendar Review
♥ Ciate Mini Mani Month Nail Polish Advent Calendar Review
♥ Christmas Bedroom Tour 2018
♥ What I Got For Christmas Last Year (2018)
♥ 50 Things To Do This Christmas If You Have a Chronic Illness
♥ IWOOT Christmas Jumpers Review
♥ My Christmas Cross Stitch Makes
♥ A Literary Christmas: An Anthology Book Review
♥ Erstwilder All Wrapped Up Christmas Brooches
♥ What's In My Christmas Eve Box 2019

I just want to say a big heart-felt "thank you" to everyone who continued to read my blog posts, follow me on social media, and leave me lovely comments and messages in 2019, even though my posting was sparse and my content not the most interesting. I can't believe that you were still  interested in reading what I had to say when I did make an appearance, and your support means the world. Thank you!

I really enjoyed blogging regularly again over Christmas and I'm hoping I can find my groove again this year, and health allowing, create more quality content on a regular basis in 2020. I'm going to try my best for you guys, but I won't make any promises in case I can't keep them, and I guess we shall see what happens. Fingers crossed for a better year!

I hope that 2020 is a bright year for all of us, filled with happiness, good health (or as good as it can be for those of us with chronic illnesses), fun times, great experiences, wonderful people, and all the things you're hoping for this year. Happy New Year, everyone! Let's make it the best one yet!

What was your greatest achievement in 2019?

My Goals For 2019

It's a brand new year, so I guess it's time to set some goals for the year ahead! 

Don't worry; I'm not about to start spouting some "new year, new me!" bollocks. It's a new year, but you're still going to get the same old me... whether you like it or not! (Probably not!)

I'm not one for making big, unattainable, life-changing resolutions that I'm never going to achieve because where's the fun in failure?, but I do like to set myself some smaller goals to aim for each year. Goals like reading more books, places I want to visit locally, crafts I want to try, and plans for my blog for the year ahead. Goals I actually have a good chance of achieving but that still provide a challenge. This year, I've set myself lots of those kind of goals for the coming months, and if you'd like to hear about some of them, please keep reading!

So, in 2019, I would like to:

Read More

One of my top priorities for 2019 is to read more books. I finally got my reading mojo back in 2018, after years of being distracted by blogging and the Internet, and read more books than I've read in years. While I only finished about 17 or 18 books last year, it was still an improvement on the 7 I managed to read in 2017, and I would've read more if I could've. I'm hoping to do even better this year, and make time for even more books because it's something I really enjoy. I'm being realistic, and have set myself a goal of reading 25 books, which I should be able to achieve, but I'd like to get through even more if I can. I've just treated myself to several new novels with my Christmas money and I'm already over 200 pages through my first book of the year (Birdbox by Josh Malerman- which is amazing so far!), so I'm sure I'll make a dent in the challenge really quickly. If you have any book recommendations, let me know!

Do Lots of Crafting
I've realised that I'm rarely happier than when I'm creating and making things with my own two hands, so I want to spend 2019 doing as much crafting as possible. I want to make more time for the crafts I enjoy, and also challenge myself with lots of new crafts to learn some new skills. My crafty goals include:

♥ Do Lots of Cross Stitching

I didn't cross stitch as much as I would've liked last year, so I want to make up for it this year by cross stitching regularly, and making lots of fun designs.

♥ Design My Own Cross Stitch Pattern and Then Stitch It

I'm thinking of trying a simple geometric design to start with, as it shouldn't be too hard to get right. I've wanted to try creating my own patterns for years.

♥ Attempt More Embroidery Projects and Improve My Embroidery Skills

I haven't done a lot of embroidery, so I'd like to try to master it this year.

♥ Make Something on a Loom

I bought a small loom last year as I thought weaving looked like fun, but I still haven't made anything with it. This year I will. I just don't know what I'll make yet.

♥ Learn How to Needle Felt

It's a random craft, I know, but I'd love to give it a try. I actually bought a needle felting Christmas decoration kit this Autumn, but never found the time to make it, so this would be a good place to start.

♥ Try Card-Making

I've contemplated making my own cards for years and have never given it a try, but Aycan's DIY reindeer pom pom shaker Christmas cards have inspired me to actually attempt some this year.

♥ Learn to Crochet

Learning to crochet a granny square blanket has been on my to-do-list for years, but I still haven't got around to it. I really want to find the time to fit it in this year.

♥ Make More Hoop Art

I really want to make more hoop art, and try more elaborate designs, so I'm going to get started on this soon. I'd love to be able to fill a whole wall with my hoops.

♥ Learn How to Use a Sewing Machine

I learnt once, but haven't used one since I was about thirteen and had to study textiles in secondary school, so I can't remember how to use one. Back then I was useless with a sewing machine- probably as I had no interest in crafting and CBA- but now I'd love to learn how to use one again, and like to think I'd master it easily this time around. I'd love to be able to use one to make my own clothes, patchwork quilts, and bunting one day.

♥ Make Felt Wreaths

Over Christmas, I'd hoped to make felt floral Christmas wreaths, but ended up being too ill to make them, so I need to play catch up and make them this year instead. I also need to make a couple more of my floral spring wreaths, and I hope to blog tutorials for them, too!

Improve My Photography and Photo Editing Skills

One area of blogging I really struggle with is photography, particularly photo editing, which makes me want to pull my hair out on an almost daily basis. I just cannot get my photos to look good, no matter what I do. It consumes me, and stops me from publishing content far too often, and I need to find a solution before it drives me crazy. I know I say this every year, but I want to work hard on improving my photography and flatlays this year, and learn some new skills to make my photos look as good as they can.

Rebrand the Blog

Last year, I gave Polka Spots a brand new look with a Pipdig blog design, which I still absolutely love, but I never did find the time to rename and rebrand the blog. I've hated my blog name for almost seven years now, and it makes me cringe every time I see it, so I want to take the steps to rebrand and rechristen the blog to something less cringe-worthy ASAP.

Work Hard to Improve the Blog

This year, I'm aiming to work hard on my blog and provide quality content that I hope you guys will enjoy and want to read. I want to improve the quality of my writing, flatlays, and photos, and feature a variety of interesting topics. I'd love to include more crafts, beauty, books, stationery, fashion, homeware, and adventures on the blog, and work with more brands in 2019. I'd also like to be more interactive with you guys here and on social media, grow my readership, and work on self-promotion. Let the hard work commence! If there's anything you'd like to see more of on the blog, let me know in the comments!

Improve My Instagram

Despite its flaws (algorithm, anyone?), I bloody love Instagram. I love sharing photos from my day, and filling my grid with colourful and meaningful photos from my life that I can look back on. I particularly enjoy sharing perfectly unpolished little snippets on my Instagram Stories, and of course, gaining inspiration from others. I want to make the effort to fill my grid and stories with quality photos this year, and make my account something I can be proud of. I don't plan on going for a theme, but I want it to look as colourful as possible. If I can grow my following and engagement along the way, that would be wonderful, too.

Shop For Presents Throughout the Year

I want to do my best to pick up birthday and Christmas presents for my family and friends throughout the year to help spread-the-cost, and be super organised this year. I don't want to be skint at Christmas or be panicking about finishing my shopping days before Christmas again, like I was this Christmas.  It's too stressful. This year, I'm going to be prepared. In fact, I've already added four small presents to the present stash, so I'm off to a good start! I find picking up presents over the year really takes the stress out of gift-giving, and it gives me more time to find the perfect gifts, too.

Get Stuck in to Surveys Again

I didn't participate in anywhere near as many paid surveys in 2018 as I did in 2017, as I couldn't always be arsed to put in the effort for a few pennies. but I'm intending to get stuck in again this year.  I'm going to do it to pay for all those presents, but also to make some extra cash to live on because I barely have enough to get by. If you'd like to know more about earning money through online surveys, I wrote a post all about it here.

Look in to Ways to Manage My Arthritis

Over the last year or so, the arthritis I've suffered with since I was a pre-teen, has deteriorated and started to become problematic after two decades of being manageable. It's began causing excruciating pain, swollen joints, regular stiffness, and difficulty using my hands for every day tasks, which sure is sobering at the age of 33. Last month it was the worst it's ever been, so I know it's time to start looking in to new ways to manage my symptoms to see if anything out there can help. Anti-inflammatory drugs haven't worked for me, but I want to look in to anti-inflammatory diets as there are foods there are known to help with inflammation. (This isn't about dieting, but adding more foods with anti-inflammatory properties in to my diet in the hope of helping my joints). I'm also planning to speak with my rheumatologist again to find out if there's anything we can do to manage it, and have an appointment to see him again in a couple of weeks. I need to make sure I try everything I can to make it more manageable before accepting this as my new normal.

Lose the Extra Weight I Gained Last Year

Last year, I gained a little weight from spending so much time on bed rest and not taking care of myself as well as I should have, and in all honesty, I don't feel comfortable in my own skin anymore. I've tried to love the extra padding I've acquired, but the truth is, I don't. I don't even feel like myself anymore. I honestly don't give a shit about being plus size, but I definitely felt more comfortable in myself when I was a size or two smaller, so I'd like to get back to that. To be honest, the main reason I want to lose those extra pounds is so I can fit back in to my clothes. Most of my clothes no longer fit me and I can't afford to buy new ones, so it would be easier if I could fit back in to them. I miss my favourite dresses!

Eat Better

Continuing on from the last goal, I'm also aiming to eat better, and look after myself properly. It's time to start taking better care of myself.

Continue Training Rosie

My three-year-old Tibetan terrier, Rosie, still needs some work when it comes to recall and shutting up when she's asked (that dog could bark for England), so I'm going to continue training her until we've cracked it. I'd love it if she could have the freedom to wander off the lead in public and play with other dogs in the park without worrying about her getting hit by a car or going missing. She has the run of our garden at home, but it would be nice if she could have that freedom on her walks, too.

Have a Clear Out

I feel the need to have a good clear out at home, and get rid of some of the clutter- not only to raise a little extra cash, but to make some space, too. Sometimes it feels like my stuff is closing in on me. I also need to sort through and organise some of my digital files and photos, too, and try to keep on top of it. I think I'm going to make a start on this soon and start the year with a good spring clean.

Visit Somewhere New

It's unlikely that I will get a holiday or weekend away this year, but I hope I can at least visit somewhere new before the year is through.

Some Places I'd Like To Visit in 2019

♥ Brighton

♥ London.

♥ Badbury Clump woods, when it's carpeted with bluebells in the spring.

♥ A lavender field in The Cotswolds.

♥ A sunflower field, if I can find one close to home.

♥ The Wizarding World of Harry Potter.

♥ The beach.

So, those are some of my goals for 2019... what are yours? Have you made any New Year's resolutions for 2019?

Looking Back on 2018

Happy New Year, everyone!

I hope you're all having a fantastic new year so far, however you're celebrating it. Have you / are you doing anything exciting to mark it?

I just had a quiet New Year's Eve at home watching movies and eating Indian food with my little sister, and today, I'll be enjoying a turkey roast with the family again, which is something we always do on New Year's Day. I'm not fussed about New Year's, so a quiet, lazy one at home suits me just fine. I'm such an old lady! 

Fortunately, my quiet New Year's Day leaves me time to write, so for my first post of 2019, I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon, and  write a summary of 2018...

I can't believe it's already time to write another one of these customary end of year posts where I look back on the last twelve months of my life with a mix of nostalgia and regret, and contemplate my life choices. It only feels like five minutes since I wrote the last one. 

2018 felt like the shortest year on record. The whole year passed so quickly for me. The days, weeks, and months seemed to blur together and zoom past, which baffles me as you'd think time would drag when you're living a Groundhog Day life at home with chronic illness. For me, it never has.

I wish I could say that 2018 was the best year of my life, and was a year filled with achievements, adventures, new experiences, and milestones, but if I did, I would be lying. In reality, 2018 was a pretty boring and uneventful year for me, and I achieved and experienced very little- at least outside the confines of my own home.

My year was once again spent housebound with chronic pain and chronic illness doing my best to keep my head above water, and get from one day to the next. If nothing else, I can at least say I achieved that, even if every day was a struggle with constant pain, fatigue, joint stiffness, and tachycardia to contend with. My health actually deteriorated in 2018, with several of my health conditions worsening as the year went on. I experienced fibro flares far more regularly and intense than ever before; the arthritis, which I've had since I was twelve, suddenly nose-dived and started bringing excruciating pain, swelling, and far more stiffness to my joints than I've ever experienced; and my tachycardia not only continued but was a daily nightmare, bringing breathlessness, chest pains, and a crushing feeling across my chest regularly, too. The tachycardia became so bad, I was rushed to A&E again one joyful night in October, but they never did get to the bottom of it. The main thing is, I didn't let it break me, I got through it all, and I'm here, still fighting.

As my health was so bad, I was rarely able to leave the house for anything other than doctor's and hospital appointments, and the only fun experiences I had out and about were two visits to my local zoo in the summer, and an overnight trip to London to see Fall Out Boy live at the O2 in March (which was amazing!). Seriously. That's it. The handful of other brief interludes I enjoyed from captivity were just occasional visits to the supermarket, shops, or coffee shops with my Mum or sister. I didn't even spent time with anyone other than my immediate family. Wow, my life is exciting! Look at me living my best life! Haha! (I can hear those tiny violins now!)

Okay, it wasn't a year where I lived my life to the full, made amazing memories, and achieved my dreams, but l made the best of every day and life was good in other ways. I read a lot of books, I did a lot of crafting, I taught myself how to make felt floral wreaths (and came in as a runner-up in a Hobbycraft competition with one of them!), I worked hard on my blog, I painted, I wrote, I tried to improve my photography, I watched some great movies, and I spent quality time with my family and my dog. I always had plenty to fill my time with, and never had enough hours in the day to do everything I wanted to do. Considering I was ill and house bound, I think I succeeded in adding plenty of life to my days and conquering those little achievements. I believe in celebrating the little things in life, and I think I still had a lot to be thankful for. Just because I didn't reach any big milestones or celebrate any big life achievements, travel the world, or meet lots of new people, it doesn't mean my year was a failure. Every little victory was worth celebrating! Sure, my life could've been better, but it also could've been a lot worse.

One thing that helped me get through yet another year of this unconventional life without being bored out of my mind and feeling like a total failure, was having this blog to throw myself in to. I honestly could not have got though the year without it. It kept me occupied every day, gave me something to wake up for in the morning and aim for every day, and provided me with a distraction from the pain. I worked extremely hard on my blog in 2018, and while I didn't see much growth, work with a lot of brands, or manage to blog every day, I think the quality of my content improved, and I'm proud of the posts I published. I like to think my photos and flatlays improved a little, too- even if I do still suck at photo editing and it left me wanting to pull my hair out almost every day. You can't have it all, right?

Some of my favourite posts from the year include:

♥ Two Years With Rosie.

♥ Vendula London Russian Doll Cross Body Bag Review.

♥ Polka Spots and Freckle Dots Turns Six.

♥ DIY Colourful Easter Crackers.

♥ Fall Out Boy Mania Tour Live at the O2 & Other London Adventures.

♥ Erstwilder Australiana Brooches.

♥ Erstwilder South American Socialites Brooches.

♥ Old English Company Stationery Haul and Reviews.

♥ How to Make Money Online By Answering Surveys.

♥ My Handmade Felt Spring Flower Wreaths.

♥ The Cotswold Wildlife Park July 2018.

♥ Erstwilder Brooch Haul.

♥ Cath Kidston Disney Alice in Wonderland Haul.

♥ The World In Stitches Modern Spectrum Mandala Cross Stitch Kit.

♥ The Cotswold Wildlife Park August 2018.

♥ The Famous Five Clothbound Hardcovers by Enid Blyton.

♥ Kimchi and Coconut Australian Animal Brooches.

♥ The Jane Austen Collection From Arcturus Books.

♥ OPI Disney The Nutcracker and the Four Realms Beauty Advent Calendar Review.

♥ Erstwilder Festive Splendour Christmas Brooches.

♥ Christmas To Color by Mary Tanana Adult Christmas Colouring Book Review.

♥ Erstwilder Kitschy Christmas Brooches.

♥ Christmas Fashion and Homeware Haul.

♥ DIY Hobbycraft Nutcracker Christmas Crackers.

♥ DIY Christmas Eve Box 2018.

♥ DIY Retro Reindeer Christmas Cross Stitch From Mid Century Maude.

♥ DIY Christmas Pudding Pom Pom Wreath.

♥ DIY Easy Christmas Hoop Art.

2018 was also the year that I gave the blog a whole new look with a Pipdig blog design. It helped me fall back in love with my blog all over again, and I still love it all these months later. It was one of the best blogging decisions I've ever made, as it not only looks so much better than my old crappy layout, but it helped rekindle my love of blogging, too! 

I loved blogging for you guys in 2018, and I just want to say a big thank you for all your support last year. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog, share my posts, leave me such lovely messages, and follow me on social media! It means so much. It amazes me that anybody would want to read my blog, much less enjoy my content, so knowing you guys do makes all the time, effort, and hard work that goes in to blogging worthwhile! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You guys are amazing! I hope you'll stick around in 2019!

I don't know what 2019 will have in store for me or my blog, but I can't wait to find out where it will take me. What I can tell you is that I'm going to work hard to make Polka Spots and Freckle Dots as good as it can be, and produce more quality content that I think you'll enjoy and want to read. I'll talk more about that when I blog my goals for the year later this week, but if there's anything you'd like to see more of on the blog in 2019, do let me know in the comments!

So, 2018 is behind us, and 2019 has just begun. I hope it's an amazing year for all of us, filled with happiness, good health, great experiences, wonderful people, a little bit of wealth, and everything else you may be hoping for.

Happy New Year!

My Goals For 2018

At the beginning of each new year I always feel motivated to better myself, and set myself some goals for the year ahead. I don't set myself big New Year's resolutions, like losing half my body weight overnight, becoming a millionaire, or giving up my dress habit, and won't this year, either, as I know I'll never achieve them, but I do like to set myself lots of fun, smaller goals to work on before the year is through. It gives me something to aim for, and I suppose it makes me feel like I'm achieving something even though I'm not able to do all the things I want to in life because of my chronic illnesses.

This year, I've come up with a lot of things I want to aim for in 2018, and I thought I'd share some of those goals with you today.

Don't worry; I'm not about to start announcing some 'new year, new me' bollocks; it's a new year, but you'll get the same old me; I'm not planning to change who I am just because society makes us feel like we're not good enough the way we are. I might attempt to become a slightly better version of myself in 2018, but chances are, I won't succeed, and it's not the end of the world if I fail.

Here are 15 of my goals for 2018:

Craft Regularly and Try Lots of New Crafts

I've come to realise I'm rarely more content than when I'm making something with my own two hands, so I want to craft as much as possible in 2018, and also have a go at lots of new crafts. I want to do lots of colourful cross stitching, learn how to crochet a granny square blanket, improve my embroidery skills, make more hoop art, have a go at making wreaths for Spring / Easter, try decoupaging, perhaps do some jewellery making, try needle felting, make bandannas for Rosie, and all kinds of other fun creative things. I basically just want to spend the whole year making things.

Paint Regularly and Try Gouache Paints

Last year, I began watercolour painting again after several years away from a paint brush, having completely forgotten how relaxing and enjoyable it could be. I want to keep painting regularly throughout the year, improve my watercolour skills, and also try working with gouache paints for the first time to try something a little more vibrant.

Improve My Photography and Photo Editing Skills

Photography and photo editing are two areas of blogging I really struggle with and I admit they need a lot of improvement, so I'm going to keep working on improving my skills and the quality of my photos throughout the year.

Read More

I've been making the effort to read more over the last few months and I've enjoyed every moment of it, so I want to continue reading regularly in 2018 (every day, where possible), and try to read a lot more. I'm not going to set myself a target number of books, except that I want to read at least one book a month. It doesn't sound like a lot, but I think it's more than I managed in 2017.

See Fall Out Boy Live Again

Fall Out Boy are touring in the UK again in March, and I'm determined to get out and see them on stage again. Their shows are always phenomenal, and so much fun. I haven't got tickets yet, as I'm still skint, but plans are afoot...

Continue Training Rosie

My Tibetan terrier, Rosie, still needs a little work with some of her training- especially with recall and not jumping up at people- so it's something I'm going to commit to working on with her until we've cracked it. She's a really intelligent dog, so I know she'll get there.

Shop For Christmas and Birthday Presents Throughout The Year

I want to be super organised this year, and shop for presents for birthdays and Christmas throughout the year to help spread the cost, and keep the stress of last minute shopping at bay. I did this the year before last, and it really took the stress out of present-giving. I'm intending to pick up presents as and when I see the perfect gift and can afford to, and build up a good present stash so I can be all smug when my Christmas shopping is all finished while everyone's running around the high street like headless chickens in December.

Build Up My Wardrobe Again

I had to sell a lot of my wardrobe just to get by last year, so now things are a little better financially, I want to work on building it back up again. I'm not planning on going crazy, but a new dress here and there would be nice.

Blog More Quality Content

I want to work hard to improve my blog content this year, as I wasn't happy with my blog at all last year. I always put 110% in to every post, but I wasn't satisfied with my photos, and I just wasn't able to blog about everything I wanted to- mostly because I wasn't often well enough to take the photos I needed for the posts. I need to find a way around my health issues when it comes to photography, and I want to do my best to blog more quality content. I want to blog more fashion, beauty, and lifestyle posts, and basically make Polka Spots the best it can be.

Blog Outfits Again

I didn't blog a single outfit in 2017, mostly because I didn't have any money for new clothes (can you believe I only bought one new dress in 2017?!), and because my next door neighbours had builders working on their house every fucking day of the year and I didn't feel comfortable taking photos in the garden with them around to see me. It makes me sad, as sharing my outfits used to be the main reason for my blog, and I really miss it, so I want to try to share outfits again this year, even if it's only every now and then.

Revamp and Rebrand the Blog

The blog is long over due a revamp, and as I hate my blog name, I also think it's time for a rebrand. I had intended to tackle this last year, but I wasn't able to due to lack of funds for the blog design I wanted. The blog's a mess, so it's about time I got it done.

Be More Interactive With You Guys

I completely failed at keeping up with blog comments and messages in 2017, and I'm ashamed of myself for it. I know an apology isn't good enough, but I will do my best to keep up with them in 2018, and be more interactive with you guys. I'm going to sit down and have a big catch up as soon as I'm feeling better, and then make sure I keep on top of them.

Keep Up My Survey Answering Game

I got in to crowdsourcing (answering surveys online) last year to make a little extra cash, and it's something I want to continue doing regularly this year, too. It doesn't bring in a lot of money, but it soon adds up. Last year I earned enough to afford all the Christmas, birthday, and Easter presents for my family and friends, as well as a few treats for myself, so I'm aiming to do the same this year. I just need to keep myself motivated, which can be the hard part, as a lot of surveys are boring as hell!

Visit Somewhere New

I doubt I'll be getting away for a holiday this year, but I'd like to try to visit at least one place I've never been before, even if it's close to home. 

Some Places I'd Like To Visit In 2018

The Wizarding World of Harry Potter.

Badbury Clump woods (for the bluebells in the Spring).

The Ashmolean and Pitt Rivers Museums in Oxford.

Christchurch, Oxford.

London (it's been far too long).

Whipsnade Wild Animal Park.

Blenheim Palace.

What are your goals for 2018?

Looking Back On 2017

Happy New Year, everyone!

I hope you had a wonderful New Year's, and you're not still nursing a horrific hangover. How did you all celebrate it this year?

Me? I unfortunately spent New Year's Eve in bed feeling like death with a horrendous fever, temperature, headache, and nausea, so I wasn't able to celebrate at all this year. I spent all day in bed with a flannel on my head too ill to even read a book, so it wasn't exactly the New Year's Eve I had in mind. I haven't felt so sick in years. Thankfully, I awoke yesterday morning feeling so much better, but still a little tender, so I had another quiet day in bed, and managed to drag myself downstairs for a New Year's roast with my family in the evening. I hope it was just a weird twenty-four hour bug, and not the start of the flu, because one day of that was enough!

As I've been ill, I'm a little behind with my blog content. I still have a few Christmas posts to blog and my goals for the year ahead, but first I'm going to catch up with a look back on 2017.



I can't believe we've already said "goodbye" to another year, and that it's time to write another one of these customary end of year posts to look back on the last twelve months of my life with fondness or regret. I'd swear it was only a few months since I wrote the last one... where did the year go?? It feels like the entire year just flew by.

I'll be honest, 2017 was not the greatest year for myself or my family, and I'm glad to see the back of it. There was a lot of loss and illness within my family, and far more than one family deserves in just one year.

In July, my 98-and-a-half-year-old Grandad passed away after a few years of illness after illness, and in late November, my cousin, tragically lost her battle with cancer. She was just fifty-two, and literally the loveliest, kindest, nicest person I've ever met, and we're all heartbroken that she's gone. I take comfort in the fact my Grandad lived a long and happy life and was ready to go, but my cousin should've had half her life ahead of her. Both deaths have been a huge loss for my family, and they've left two gaping holes in our lives. If there's any good to come from their deaths, losing them has made me realise more than ever how important family is, and how life is so damn short that it should be lived to the full every day, and never taken for granted. 

My cousin and Grandad weren't the only ones who suffered illness in 2017; it seemed like half my family had health concerns. I myself spent all but six weeks of the year with tachycardia (racing heart beat), which kicked off with an emergency visit to A&E with a BPM of 160 in February for the first of three ECG's I would have in 2017. Over the year, I had countless tests, and even had an ultra-sound on my heart with a cardiologist, but we never did find a reason for my racing heart and palpitations. I'm still convinced it's electricity. My heart rate has slowed down a little thanks to a daily dose of beta blockers, but I still have issues with it racing, especially during the night. I hope 2018 is the year it will finally go back to normal.

Of course, I also had chronic pain and my chronic illnesses to contend with on a daily basis for the sixth consecutive year, and they totally kicked my arse each and every day. The pain and joint stiffness grew worse in 2017, and once again, held me hostage at home for the vast majority of the year. Aside from brief interludes for doctor's and hospital appointments, I spent another year house bound and on bed rest, but I didn't let it break me or phase me, and I got through the year just fine. 

I suppose one of the biggest challenges for me in 2017 was dealing with the stress and difficulty of living the entire year without a penny to my name, and going through the long process of appealing my case through a tribunal. It was a daily nightmare for fourteen long months, but a few days before Christmas, I won my appeal, and it's a relief that I can start 2018 with that weight lifted off my shoulders, and some financial security for the year ahead.

To cope with the stress of all the crappy parts of 2017, I did all I could to keep myself busy, and made the best out of the life I was given. I read, I wrote, I cross stitched, I took up watercolour painting, I had a go at embroidery, I blogged, I created flat lays, I took a million photos, I watched movies, I listened to music, I played computer games, I made a ton of hoop art, I had a go at wreath-making, I pinned the shit out of Pinterest, I answered online surveys for cash, I spent time with my dog, and a million other little things that helped me fill the year, and made me feel productive and accomplished.

Every once in a while, I even managed to leave the house for a little breather, and occasionally an adventure. I visited a local zoo, explored a woods carpeted in bluebells, went out for afternoon tea at an enchanted tea gardens, did some sight-seeing in Oxford, visited Stroud for the first time, and even took my first holiday in seven years to Cornwall for a week in June. It was my first holiday since developing chronic pain, and while I spent most of the time resting, I loved revisiting old haunts and a couple of new places. We went to St. Ives, took a boat ride out to Seal Island and spotted some wild seals, visited Truro, went to Newquay Zoo, stepped foot on Perranporth Beach, went out for strawberry teas, dawdled around Padstow, drove down to Penzance, and explored St. Michael's Mount for the first time. It was blissful.

I also put a lot of time and effort in to my blog in 2017, and worked hard to create quality content each time I blogged. I struggled to post as often as I wanted to, though, as I had difficulty standing to take the photos I needed and couldn't spend long on my laptop, so I didn't blog as much as I'd hoped, and couldn't blog everything I wanted to. I wasn't happy with Polka Spots at all last year because of this, nor how I let replying to comments and messages slide, but I'm going to do my best to rectify that in 2018, and make my blog the best it can be. I want to blog more quality content, more fashion, beauty, lifestyle and creative posts, share outfits again, improve my photography, and become more interactive with you guys again. I guess we'll have to wait and see if I can do it, but I really hope I can!

Here's some of my favourite posts from 2017:

♥ Christmas Bedroom Tour 2016

♥ My Christmas Cross Stitch Makes of 2016

♥ What I Got For Christmas Haul 2016

♥ Hobbycraft Flamingo Cross Stitch Hoop Kit

♥ One Year With Rosie

♥ Polka Spots and Freckle Dots Turns Five

♥ The World In Stitches Colourful Geometric Cross Stitch Kits

♥ Barry M Gelly Hi-Shine Nail Paint Ultimate Shine Collection Review

♥ Easter 2017

♥ The World In Stitches Geometric Heart Cross Stitch

♥ 50 Thoughts I Had During The Heatwave

♥ What's In My Washbag?

♥ Turning Thirty-Two

♥ What's In My Holiday Make Up Bag?

♥ My First Holiday With Chronic Pain (To Cornwall)

♥ Cornish Adventures Part One: St. Ives and Seal Island

♥ Cornish Adventures Part Two: Newquay Zoo

♥ Cornish Adventures Part Three: Padstow and Berryfields Farm

♥ Cornish Adventures Part Four: Perranporth Beach

♥ Cornish Adventures Part Five: St. Michael's Mount

♥ Urban Decay Full Spectrum Eyeshadow Palette Review With Swatches

♥ 101 Autumn Blog Post Ideas

♥ The World In Stitches Spectral Mandala Cross Stitch Kit

♥ Hazel The Fox Cross Stitch Kit From The World In Stitches

♥ Every Beauty Advent Calendar For Christmas 2017

♥ 200 Christmas Blog Post Ideas For Bloggers

♥ 50 Money Saving Christmas Shopping Tips

♥ 35 Ways To Get Organised For Christmas Now

♥ 101 Things To Do This Christmas

♥ Ciaté Mini Mani Beauty Advent Calendar Review

♥ My Chronic Pain and Chronic Illness Christmas Survival Guide

♥ DIY Christmas Pom Pom Wreaths

♥ Rosie's First Snow Day
♥ Christmas Things Haul

♥ What I've Bought My Dog For Christmas

♥ DIY Christmas Advent House

♥ My Handmade Christmas Crackers and Table Favours

Apart from turning another year older in July, I wasn't able to reach any of life's big milestones, or make any huge accomplishments in 2017, but that's okay. I've learnt not to sweat the small stuff. I concentrated on taking life as it came, living the life I had, and making the best out of every day. I conquered hurdles, and got through the bad times, and I'm stronger for having gone through it all. It helped me appreciate the good times and the things I do have even more.

2017 wasn't an easy year, but I made it through in one piece. I know if I can get through a year like 2017, I can get through anything. 

I'm sure 2018 is going to be a much brighter year than the one that's just passed, and I can't wait to see where it takes me. I'm going to do my best to make sure it's filled with good times and happiness, and pray that it brings (relatively) good health and wealth to myself, and everyone I know. 2018, do your worst; I'm ready for ya!