Looking Back on 2023

I was meant to have this written and posted by New Year's Eve, but I've been so drained and sleepy since Christmas, so I'm having to play catch-up. I know, I know; I'm useless. I'd say 'better late than never, right?', but I'm not sure anyone else would agree once they've suffered through my incessant whining. So... yeah... sorry about this...

Goodbye 2023, hello 2024!

Well, that's another year done and dusted, and I feel like I have very little to show for it. 

I didn't do anything noteworthy, I didn't meet anyone new, I didn't really go anywhere, and I didn't feel good about it. Honestly, I'm not sure 2023 is worth remembering at all.

It was another rough year for me, with my health leaving me mostly housebound, and lots of bad chronic pain flares making it difficult to get out and about and live my life. 

By November, I'd only left the house for non-medical reasons six times, which was one of my worst records yet. I only managed two days out the entire year- once to see Ronan Keating and The City Lights Symphony Orchestra live in London in March (they were amazing, but I got pick-pocketed on the way), and the other was a fun day trip to Longleat Safari Park on my birthday in July. (I saw koalas, a wombat, and giant river otters for the first time, and hand-fed deer and a rainbow lorikeet, so at least that ticked some things off my bucket list). That's it. That's all I did. I'm not even kidding. How pathetic is that?! 

I'm not going to lie, I felt pathetic, and really struggled with my life last year. Or the lack of life in my life; the lack of new experiences, adventures, excitement, and social life. I often felt  isolated and alone, and it wasn't good for my mental health. I should be used to it all after twelve years of housebound life, but I do still miss my old life sometimes, and last year seemed to hit me particularly hard- thankfully, not every day, but more often than it had in a while. 

And as for blogging... well, I didn't manage to do much of that, either, so, let's not go there! Haha!

But despite all that, I'm choosing to look back on 2023 as a year of surviving. 

I got myself through another year without giving up, despite wanting to at times, and  that's an achievement of it's own. 

I also tried my hardest to make the best of every day because I prefer that to moping, and found enjoyment in the little things in life since I couldn't do the big ones. We don't give the little things enough love.

I found happiness in reading and collecting beautiful books, and became particularly obsessed with the Throne of Glass, ACOTAR, Fourth Wing and Blood and Ash series. Escaping into fantasy worlds was definitely my favourite coping mechanism. I enjoyed watercolour painting, did a little cross stitching and embroidery (but not nearly enough), watched a bunch of movies, played a lot of Animal Crossing, began a reading journal, blogged a little, tried to improve my photography and flatlays, wrote some book reviews, shared memes with friends, and spent time with my family and my dog. 

It was definitely not an exciting year on paper, but it was the one I got, and that's okay. They don't all have to be spectacular years full of achievements, adventures, and flashy holidays. It's okay if all you did last year was survive, go to work, and / or hermit yourself away with a book day after day. There's no right way to live, and there is (hopefully) plenty of time left to do all the things we want to.

I'm hoping 2024 will be a better year, and that I'm able to get out and about a little more often, and do more than just existing, but I guess we shall see what the year brings. That's the thing about life; you never know what might happen or where it might take you. If you can't follow your dreams, you just have to take it day by day, and see where it leads you.

What was the best (or worst) thing that happened to you in 2023?

The Christmas Day Tag

I've come across the The Christmas Day Tag, which was created by Nina Louise Law and Becc4, on a few blogs lately, and thought it would be fun to give it a go myself.

This tag is all about this year's Christmas plans, so if you'd like to know how I'll be spending Christmas day, what I'll be eating for Christmas dinner, and what Christmas films I'll be watching, today is your lucky day.

Introducing The Christmas Tag:

What time do you wake up?

These days, I'm usually up around 8-9am on Christmas Day. I'm too old for that 6am Christmas morning excitement, but I also don't like to sleep in too late and miss too much of the day.

Where will you be spending the day?

I'll just be spending Christmas at home with my family. 

What will you be wearing?

I haven't got my outfit picked out yet, but most likely a Lady Vintage Lyra dress with leggings (and Erstwilder Christmas accessories!) because those dresses make it look like I've made the effort, while also being super comfortable and able to accommodate all that extra food.

What games will you be playing?

If we can be bothered to play any games together, it will probably be a good ol' game of Monopoly, or maybe Rummikub, if we want something more non-committal. I'll almost certainly be logging on to Animal Crossing to enjoy the festivities on my island some time during the day, too.

What will you be eating?

We always have a turkey roast with all the trimmings on Christmas Day. That's generally made up of turkey, sage and onion stuffing (made with sausage meat), roast and mashed potatoes, parsnips, sweet potato, Brussels sprouts, broccoli, carrots, swede, and Yorkshire puddings, and whatever extras my sister and brother-in-law decide to bring this year. For dessert, we'll likely have the choice of my blackberry and apple trifle, my sister's Squidgy chocolate log (a lighter-than-air chocolate swiss roll filled with cream and chocolate mousse), and my Mum's apple pie. There'll also be plenty of nibbles like chocolates, biscuits, and nuts to snack on during the day, and if, by some miracle, we're hungry in the evening, we usually have turkey sandwiches for a late dinner. 

What will you be drinking?

I'm not really supposed to drink on my painkillers, so I'll probably just be sticking to soft drinks again this year.

What will you be watching?

You'll find us watching whatever good festive films are on TV over Christmas- Santa Claus the Movie and The Muppets Christmas Carol are favourites with everyone in our house- and we almost always watch whatever Disney film is on on BBC1 in the afternoon after Christmas dinner. Or any classics like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang or Mary Poppins. In the evening, I might watch whatever festive drama is on TV or curl up with another Christmas movie or two, like The Holiday or Love Actually.

What do you hope to find under the tree on Christmas Day?

I would be thrilled to get some pretty new books (especially the Illumicrate Olivie Blake set and the new Hunger Games deluxe boxset), a new TV for my room, or this Loungefly Lady and the Tramp backpack.

Who will you be spending the day with?

I'll be spending the day with my parents, sisters, and brother-in-law. As well as my dog, Rosie, and my sister's dog, Mia.

When will you be opening your presents?

We usually open our presents together when everyone's up- around 9am these days, and then exchange presents with my older sister and brother-in-law when they arrive around midday.

And that's The Christmas Tag.

If you're reading this post and want to have a go at The Christmas Tag on your own blog or socials, consider yourself tagged! Be sure to leave me a link to your post if you take part so that I can read your answers!

How will you be spending Christmas this year?

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A Christmas Tag

Currently | April 2023

It's been almost four months since I last sat down for a catch-up, so I think it's time for a long over-due Currently post. 

Today, I'm going to talk about some of the things I've been enjoying and doing lately. 

Let's start with some books:

Reading

Since the New Year, I've fallen down a Sarah J. Maas rabbit-hole and have been flitting back and forth between the Throne of Glass and A Court of Thorns and Roses series'. Two series that I've wanted to read for years, but have only just got around to. I'm kicking myself, as they're both amazing. 

So far, I've read the first three books of A Court of Thorns- A Court of Thorns and Roses, A Court of Mist and Fury, and A Court of Wings and Ruin, and I've just began A Court of Frost and Starlight after a a little ACOTAR break to stop myself reading them too quickly. I'm completely obsessed with the series, and it's been living rent-free in my head for the last four months. 

A Court of Mist and Fury has definitely been my favourite so far. It's so different to the first book, and completely changed my perspective on several characters (Tamlin's out, Rhys is in, Lucien can get a time-out for being an enabler), but it's one of my favourite reads ever. The trauma, PTSD, depression, abuse, and recovery storylines were so powerful and heartbreaking, and the character development was amazing. The book is quite melancholy for a while because of the trauma and abuse, but as characters heal and so many different things unfold, it turns in to such a funny, flirty, empowering, and exciting read. I loved getting to know Rhys and the Inner Circle (hello, Cassian), and I adored Rhys' relationship with Feyre- especially the way he tries to piece her back together with banter and flirting. Chapter 54 killed me, and that ending! Cauldron boil me, it was so good! Would highly recommend it and the series in general... as long as you don't mind a bit of spice... (Avoid chapter 55 of ACOMAF if you do). 

I can't wait to read A Court of Silver Flames for Cassian and Nesta's story, but I won't know what to do with myself once I'm finished and have to wait God-knows-how-long for the next book to come out.

I've also been loving the Throne of Glass books (perhaps even more than ACOTAR), and have so far devoured Throne of Glass, Crown of Midnight, Heir of Fire, Queen of Shadows, Empire of Storms, and Tower of Dawn. Just two more to go.

I loved the first two books and the Celaena/ Dorian / Chaol love triangle, but Heir of Fire is when it really started getting good, and has definitely been my favourite so far, followed by Queen of Shadows- mostly because of Rowan, who quickly became one of my favourite male fictional characters ever. Sadistic side of him, an' all. I adore Rowan and Aelin together- especially how cute the big grouchy warrior is when he gets protective and starts fussing over her, or later worships her like a queen. (Where can I get one?) The introduction of the fae magic definitely adds something extra to the story, too. I really enjoyed Empire of Storms, as well, though, with so much of the storyline focused on war, I found it a bit slower than the other books at times. But, I loved the Elide and Lorcan scenes, and all the romance and sexual tension building between several couples, and I can't wait to find out if they all end up together in the final book. And that ending! Brutal! Rowan's reaction to what happened broke my heart. I was gutted when I began the next book, Tower of Dawn last week, and realised it took a break from the main characters and storyline to tell Chaol and Nesryn's stories, and that I have to wait a whole other book to find out what happens next. I wasn't so invested in Chaol and Nesryn's POV to begin with and it took me a while to get into as it was a bit duller than the rest of the series, but I loved Yrene as a character, Chaol getting his ass handed to him by Yrene, and Sartaq being so obviously smitten with Nesryn. It was also interesting to see Chaol learning how to adapt to life with his spinal injuries, battling his limitations and his pride, and realising using a mobility aid doesn't make someone less of a man / woman. Despite the unrealistic fantasy healing, it sent a good message about disability, and it was great to have an ambulatory wheelchair user character to open people's eyes to how mobility levels can alter through activity, and that not all wheelchair users are paralysed.

I'll try to post some proper reviews of both series' once I've finished them, but you can find some mini reviews on my Instagram highlights, and more in-depth ones for some of them on my Goodreads.

Another book I really enjoyed was The Stolen Heir by Holly Black. It's the first book of a new duology set in the same world as The Cruel Prince series, but eight years on. It follows Jude's younger brother, Oak, and Suren (Wren), now all grown up in their late teens as they team up with his knight and their prisoner, and travel across the faerie lands of Elfhame to the Ice Needle Citadel to free Madoc and defeat Lady Nore. Along the way, they face dangers and threats, like trolls and monsters made of human body parts, and there's some fledgling romance developing, before they reach the Citadel, where there's lots of shocking twists and turns. I didn't see the ending coming, but it was brilliant. I can't wait for the second book now- and it pains me that it's almost a year away.

Watching

I haven't watched a lot lately, as I've been in a weird funk, but I've been loving Shadow and Bone on Netflix these past couple of weeks. I'd been looking forward to it since I finished season one last year, and though it's different to the books, it hasn't disappointed. I need season three and the Six of Crows spinoff now!

I also recently watched Avatar 2: The Way of Water for the first time, and absolutely loved it. Possibly even more than the first one. It was so beautifully done- especially the underwater / sea creature scenes.

Listening

I'm loving the new Fall Out Boy album, So Much (For) Stardust, which came out recently, and have been playing it on repeat. The entire album is amazing, but I particularly love Fake Out, Love From the Other Side, The Kintsugi Kid (Ten Years), and So Good Right Now. I've also been going back in time twenty years with Linkin Park's Meteora 20th Anniversary release. I've been playing the original since I was seventeen and still at college, and it's always been a favourite album (and Linkin Park era) of mine. I'm enjoying reminiscing about those good old days with it, and getting to hear lots of unreleased tracks from that era on top of the original songs from the album. It's like 2003 all over again.

Playing

I've been playing Animal Crossing New Horizons a lot, and have jumped on the bandwagon and got myself Disney Dreamlight Valley, when it was on sale after Christmas. I haven't actually got past making my avatar yet, though. I've been in too much of a funk to want to play or concentrate on anything new lately- sometimes my brain-fogged head gets like that. I'll have to give it another go again soon.

Stitching

I haven't done any cross stitching since Christmas. I've been so uninspired with what to make next that I've lost my sewing mojo. Hopefully I'll spot a fun, colourful pattern I like soon.

Painting

I recently bought myself the A Court of Thorns and Roses colouring book, and have enjoyed colourising Feyre and Tamlin in the glen of the Spring Court with my watercolours recently. I'm just beginning the second coat, and making a complete mess of it, especially of Tamlin, who is a complete train wreck at this point. I ruined a patch of his hair and sleeve by overworking the areas, and made his gold mask too yellow, since I didn't have a gold paint when I started. (I do now)! I'm hoping I can improve them before I'm finished, but he might remain a bit of a fixer-upper- much like his character. It's going to take me forever to work through the book as my joints will only let me paint in short bursts, but I'm enjoying destressing with it, trying to improve my painting 'skills' (I have none!), and bringing one of my favourite book series' to life this way. It's so therapeutic. I'll post a review of the colouring book once I've painted a few more pages.

Loving

The new book covers for the Throne of Glass series- especially the hardbacks, which I'm currently collecting. The cover art is so pretty, and the books are such lovely jewel colours.

Liking

The Nivea Organically Good Aloe Vera body lotion. I've been trying some cheaper skincare options since the cost of living crisis to save my pennies where I can, and I'm so impressed with how good this one is. I don't think my skin has ever felt softer! It smells so good, it's vegan, and you can roll up the bottle as it empties to get every last drop of lotion out of it. Very impressed, especially considering it's a budget brand.

Enjoying

the extra hour of light in the evenings now the clocks have changed, and all the blossom and colourful spring flowers that are popping up. I love it when everything comes back to life again after the winter. 

Seeing

I recently saw Ronan Keating and the City Light Symphony Orchestra live at the Royal Albert Hall in London, and it was amazing I've seen Ronan live countless times over the years, but never quite like this. The classical music really complimented his voice and they were some of the best performances of his songs I've ever seen / heard. The music was so powerful, I had goosebumps all night, and even got teary-eyed over a few songs because of it. It was such a fantastic experience, and the 65-piece-orchestra was incredible. I've never really seen a big professional orchestra perform before (though Ronan toured with a small one years ago), or been to a classical concert, but I was definitely impressed by what I saw and heard. There were so many talented musicians on that stage, and the maestro was so fun to watch as he was such a character. It's a shame it was just a one-off gig in the UK (with random shows in places like Cape Town and Switzerland), as I'd have happily gone to see them again. 

Needing

I really need to get my hair cut. I haven't had it cut in almost two years, and I'm beginning to look like Cousin It again. Hopefully I can afford a visit to the hairdresser's this spring to get it cut into a more manageable length. I also need to get to the optician's for new glasses (I'm about five years over due), and see a dentist about my cracked molar.

Wanting

About 8929134 books, several of the new Lady Vintage Lyra dresses, a new Vendula London clasp purse (to replace the one that was stolen), quite a few Loungefly bags and purses, a few Erstwilder My Little Pony brooches, an Illyrian bat boy, my own Rowan Whitethorn, a pain free day, more time out of the house, some adventures, a holiday, and a good night's sleep. Not asking for much, really...

Wishing

the two guys who pick-pocketed my purse from my bag at Victoria Station last month get kicked in the balls before enjoying a pleasant stay in hell. 

Buying

Most of my purchases over the last few months have been books. I just can't resist them, and they're the best form of escapism and distraction. I've been gradually collecting the Throne of Glass and ACOTAR hardbacks, and also treated myself to the Illumicrate editions of The Stolen Heir, Ninth House, and Hell Bent, which are all absolutely gorgeous. (I'll try to review those for you soon). I also treated myself to an amazing A Court of Thorns and Roses book tin from Litjoy Crate in the style of Beauty and the Beast (yes, I'm obsessed!), some Erstwilder brooches, and an amazing My Little Pony print smock dress from Truffle Shuffle. 

Eating

I've been enjoying treats in Easter form- especially Cadbury mini orange eggs, and Kinder Bueno eggs. They're so good! Why is Easter chocolate so much better than regular chocolate??

Drinking

Apart from being treated to a Hotel Chocolat hot chocolate after Christmas, I haven't drank anything interesting in  ages. I don't think I've even had a proper drink in about five years. I've not made a conscious decision to quit drinking or anything (though I'm not meant to drink on my painkillers), I just don't tend to drink unless I go out, and it's been a long time since I did that. *Tiny violins.*

Well, that's been my life lately.

What have you been enjoying recently?

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That Time I Got Pick Pocketed in London

That Time I Got Pick-Pocketed in London

A couple of Sundays ago, I took my first trip out of the house all year to see Ronan Keating and a symphony orchestra live in London... only to get pick-pocketed minutes after we got off the bus in Victoria.

I swear, I either have the worst luck, or I did something terrible in a former life. Something always goes wrong when I travel to concerts.

It's been going around and around in my head since it happened- mostly what I should've done differently- so I'm hoping writing about it and getting my thoughts out will help me make sense of it, and let it go. Writing has always helped me clear my head, but feel free to roll your eyes if you think I'm overreacting.

So... just after arriving in London on Mother's Day, we went into Victoria station to grab some food before heading to the Royal Albert Hall for the concert we'd travelled to see. Seconds after we went inside, we were walking slowly up half a dozen stairs (slowed down by Arthritis), when someone pressed up close behind me. I thought they were trying to hurry us up, so I tried to ignore them instead of letting them intimidate me (or elbowing them in the face), but something about it felt off, so I thought to check my bag as soon as I was off the stairs- only to find my backpack was unzipped, and my purse had gone. They'd seen us moving slowly, and they'd marked us as easy targets. 

It was all over in a matter of seconds, and happened so fast, I didn't even get a look at them as they hurried away. My sister got a glimpse, but I was too busy checking my bag.                                             

Luckily, they only took my purse and I didn't even have any cash on me. My phone was in my hand, and they didn't take my camera or concert tickets which had my personal details on them, so it could've been worse. They could've taken my whole bag, and I could've had my NI card on me, but didn't. Thanks to my sister, I was able to cancel my bank card in minutes before they even got a chance to use it, so my only real loss was my lovely Vendula London flower shop purse. (I'm gutted- it isn't made any more).

I'm mostly just annoyed at myself for being stupid enough to take a backpack to London, because I never, ever do for this very reason. I've always taken a cross-body I can keep a hand on, but this time, I was careless as I wanted to ease the strain on my neck and shoulder, which were hurting like hell. I even contemplated the risk before I left home, so I feel like such an idiot. 

With all the stabbings in London lately, I'm just grateful I wasn't hurt- they didn't so much as touch me- and I wasn't alone so I didn't end up stranded without any money or a bus ticket home. All I could do was Paypal my sister money for things, so it left me feeling pretty vulnerable. I think it's time to set up some kind of payment on my phone (which the policeman also recommended), and go back to putting £20 in my shoe when I travel, so I'm not so helpless if I lose my wallet again. It was a wake up call.

I wasn't the only one it happened to, either; when we were talking to the police, there were two other girls who had just been targeted in another station, probably by the same men. I felt worse for them, because they were tourists, and it's a shitty thing to happen miles from home. The police and the security guard were all really kind and sympathetic, though, which made a big difference. They took it seriously, and didn't lay any blame on our actions, or make us feel like we were wasting their time. They just shared some insights about pick-pocketers and suggested some tips- like wearing a cross-body bag beneath a jacket or cardi so it's harder for thieves to cut a bag right from your body, and to set up Apple Pay on your phone to have money to fall back on.

I didn't really care about finding my purse- that was already long gone, but we got the police involved to hopefully stop it from happening to other people. I hope they were able to find them, but if not, I hope karma comes back to bite them where it hurts. I'd wish them a life time of chronic pain, but that seems a little bit mean. Maybe they were professional pick-pocketers, or maybe they were just desperate. Who knows?

I didn't let two assholes ruin my night, though, and tried not to let it phase me. I didn't panic, and only realised it affected me at all when the nerves in my legs started twitching when I sat down afterwards. (It's only now it's over that it's bothering me a little bit, and creeping in to my head at random times). We still had a great night, and miraculously, we had the same bus driver on the way home to Oxford, who remembered us, and didn't make me pay for another ticket home, so... silver linings. 

If you take anything from this story, I hope it makes you think about your safety when you travel and you learn from my mistakes. Don't take a backpack to London or any other big city; keep your bag where you can see it; don't keep all your money in one place when you travel; and if someone invades your space, don't just ignore it to be the bigger person. It might not be safe to confront them, but at least turn to acknowledge you know they're there to discourage them, and try to move away from them if you can.

It might make a difference.

Have you ever been pick-pocketed on your travels?

Goals For 2023

I'm a little late to the party as I've been a little under the weather lately, but I'm back with my annual list of goals for the year ahead.

I don't set myself big New Year's resolutions that I'm unlikely to ever achieve- who wants to feel like a failure?- but I do like to challenge myself with lots of smaller goals to aim towards and keep myself on my toes. They're nothing too exciting or interesting, but I thought I'd share my list anyway, in an attempt to motivate myself and make myself accountable.

So, here are my goals for 2023:

Read at least 40 books

I've set myself a new Goodreads reading challenge for 2023, and hope to read at least 40 books this year. I've played it safe with the number to make it achievable, but I'm hoping to read even more, and would at least like to beat last year's tally of 46, if I can. I'm already on my third book of the year, so I'm off to a strong start.

Collect lots of pretty books

Beautiful books are a real weakness of mine, and after recently discovering book subscription companies like Owlcrate, Fairyloot, and Illumicrate, who sell the most stunning books, I'm eager to continue indulging my passion, and collect the prettiest editions for as many new book purchases as possible. I just treated myself to the Illumicrate editions of Ninth House and Hell Bent by Leigh Bardugo and I'm so excited.

Do lots more cross stitching

I barely did any cross stitching last year, but I want to find my mojo, and sew a lot more regularly this year. I just need to find some patterns I like. I've been so uninspired lately.

Make an embroidery

I'd also like to finish an embroidery. I bought a kit from Cotton Clara in 2020 that I still haven't made, so I think it's been neglected long enough. Time to get stitching.

Learn to crochet and make the Hello Kitty / Pusheen plushie

I've been saying for years that's I want to learn to crochet, and still haven't, but I'm hoping 2023 will be the year. I bought a cute kit last year- a Hello Kitty doll dressed up like Pusheen- which I'd hoped would encourage me to get started, but as a novice, learning how to start using video tutorials was harder than I expected, and I've realised I need someone to show me the ropes first. I'm hoping I can get my Mum to teach me the basics, and then attempt to crochet the doll as my first crochet project.

Get out of the house more

Aside from a week's holiday to Cornwall in September, I can count on two hands how many times I left the house for any reason last year (including my medical appointments, which have fizzled out since Covid), and let's be honest, that's not much of a life. I've been finding the isolation and lack of excitement in my life hard lately, so I'm eager to try to push myself more, and do my best to leave the house more often this year

Go to at least one concert

I haven't got any concerts booked as yet, but I'm itching for some live music, and hope I get to go to at least one this year. Going a year without a gig is just wrong.

Take a cinema trip

It's been about a decade since I last went to the cinema because it became too painful with my spinal pain, and it's one of those little things I really miss doing in life. I always used to go at least once a month. I'd love to try to go see a new film at least once this year, and see how I cope with it now, even if it leaves me in agony. 

Sight-see around Dorset

When I was looking up tour buses for my last holiday to Cornwall, I discovered there's one in Dorset called the Jurassic Coaster that travels along the south coast from Poole to Weymouth, taking you through places like Durdle Door, Lulworth Cove, and Dorchester in between. I haven't seen a lot of Dorset since I was little, so I'd love to spend a day doing a bit of sight-seeing there in the summer. It's only a two hour drive to Poole from where I live, and the Jurassic Coaster seems like an easy, inexpensive way to explore without  being too physically demanding. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a bit of summer sight-seeing.

Take a holiday

I'm not sure if a holiday is on the cards for me this year or not, but I'd very much like to take one, and get away from it all for a week.

Go to Longleat Safari Park

I'd still love to visit Longleat safari park this spring/ summer, particularly because they have koalas and wombats now, and I've never seen either animal in real life before.

Visit confetti, lavender, and sunflower fields

I was hoping to visit some local flower fields last year, but it never happened due to car issues in the summer, so I'm going to aim to visit some this year, too. I'd love to go visit local sunflower, lavender, and confetti fields, if only to see a sea of colour, and take some pretty photos. The confetti fields are fields of flowers grown for wedding confetti, near Pershore in Worcestershire, and they sound lovely.

Visit the bluebell woods

In the spring, I would also like to go to a local bluebell woods when they flower and carpet the woods in a seemingly endless sea of violet. It always looks so pretty. I did technically go to see them last year, but we arrived too late to see them flowering.

Buy a new camera

I desperately need to save up for a new camera, after breaking my bridge camera in September. (The lens has jammed, and I'm told it's unfixable). I've had to fall back on using an ancient point and shoot camera with a scratched lens or my seriously out-of-date phone for my blog and Instagram photos, and the quality of my photos makes me want to cry. I won't be able to afford anything fancy, but I want to at least find one with similar specs to my old one. Best get saving.

Decorate my bedroom

My bedroom hasn't been painted in about a decade and desperately needs a refresh, so here's hoping 2023 is the year. I'm sick to death of looking at blue walls, and fancy going with white or cream to brighten things up a bit and make all my colourful possessions stand out better.

Continue operation clear-out

Having recently tackled my bookshelves and under my bed, I want to continue my long-over-due mission to spring clean everything. Next on my list are my wardrobe and the hallway cupboard, which I've been using as an extra wardrobe, and currently looks like a junk closet from a cartoon. If I can clear out both this year, I'll be happy.

Build my wardrobe back up

I also really want to start building my wardrobe back up this year. A lot of my clothes no longer fit me, as I've gone up a dress size over the last few years from living housebound, and as someone who loves clothes, it's depressing. I feel horrible in everything, so I haven't bothered to shop for new clothes much, but it's about time I did. I'm beginning to look like a street urchin.

And those are some of my little goals for the year ahead.

Have you set yourself any goals or resolutions for 2023?

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Looking Back on 2022

Looking Back on 2022

I can't believe we're already saying 'goodbye' to 2022. I'm sure I say this every year, but it only feels like a minute since we were ringing in the last new year, and I was writing my last annual reminder of all the things I didn't do. Is it just me, or have the last twelve months flown by?

For me, they shouldn't have, as 2022 was one of the most boring and uneventful years of my life. Looking back on the year, I've realised just how little living I did. I spent most of 2022 at home, just riding out my chronic pain, tachycardia, and fatigue a day at a time. If we don't include my holiday in September, I can probably count how many times I left the house all year on two hands- including for medical appointments! I'm pretty disappointed in myself for just how little living I managed, and how little I pushed myself to try.

All I really have to show for 2022 is an overnight trip to Bournemouth to see Ronan Keating, a visit to Whipsnade Zoo, a few trips in to town with my sister, and a week's holiday to Cornwall. Cornwall was definitely a highlight of the year, with time by the sea, lots of good food, day trips to beautiful Padstow and St. Ives, and fun visits to Newquay Zoo and The Screech Owl Sanctuary. It was a blissful week away from it all, and exactly the kind of escapism I needed. 

The rest of 2022 was just spent surviving, and enjoying the little things in life. I read a lot and finished 46 books; played Animal Crossing and FarmVille 3 (for far more hours than I probably should admit); cross stitched and painted; attempted to blog; became addicted to the Shadow and Bone books, The Folk of the Air series, and The Ballad of Never After and made them my whole personality; watched some good movies and TV shows; wasted time online; and spent time with my family and my dog. That's about it.

Wow, my year sounds pathetic.

Catching Covid-19 in June, the first time I went without a mask in a crowd, was also an experience, and one I'm not likely to forget in a hurry. I was sick for a month, and while it wasn't as bad as it could've been, it was horrendous. Though, the guilt I felt for making my whole family sick was worse. (Read about it here).

As for Polka Spots and Freckle Dots... well, the less said about that, the better. I celebrated my blog's 10th birthday in March, but I also blogged less in 2022 than in any year since I began blogging. It wasn't for lack of trying- I attempted to write almost every day, but either the words wouldn't come, or I didn't have the spoons to take the photos I needed to post. I managed to post every month, and caught up a little in December, but my tally of posts for the year is pretty darn sad. Here's hoping I can do better in 2023. It's definitely something I hope to improve on over the next twelve months.

So, basically, embarrassingly, I didn't experience much in 2022. I didn't reach any of life's milestones, I didn't meet anyone new, I didn't see the world, I just didn't live. But- I made it through another difficult year of chronic pain and illness, and that's an achievement of it's own. I can be proud of making it through another 365 days of  constant pain, fatigue, tachycardia, and all my other symptoms, even if I have little else to be proud of.

And that's okay.

It's okay if the only thing you did this year was survive. We don't always have to live our lives to the full, achieve our dreams, or do impressive things. Being alive, and making the best of the lives we've been given is okay, too. We can always try again next year.

And I hope that I will.

What's the best thing that happened to you in 2022?

The Ultimate Christmas Tag

I love a good tag post, and today I have a fun, festive one for you called The Ultimate Christmas Tag. 

If you want to know what my favourite Christmas films are, which Christmas songs I'd sing at karaoke, or what my favourite Christmas memory is, keep reading to find out.

Introducing, The Ultimate Christmas Tag:

What is your favourite thing about Christmas?

I'm torn between seeing all the pretty lights and decorations everywhere, giving presents to my family and friends, and enjoying Christmas dinner with my family, as we only sit around a table together a couple of times a year, 

Do you have any Christmas traditions you CANNOT forget about each year?

We don't really have any big Christmas traditions in my family, just little ones like we always have to have a tin of Cadbury Roses in the house, we never put up the family Christmas tree without listening to an old Christmas album called 100% Christmas (which we've been decorating trees with since 1994), and certain desserts have to be made. I always make an apple and blackberry trifle, my sister has to make her chocolate squidgy log (old Delia recipe), and my Mum must make an apple pie- or Christmas is ruined. We need some new traditions!

Is there a song that just gets you in to the Christmas spirit?

Last Christmas by Wham never fails to make me feel festive. I think it's because it was always one of the first songs we'd listen to when decorating the tree for Christmas, so it brings up those nostalgic Christmas feelings.

What is your favourite Christmas movie?

I can't choose between Santa Claus the Movie and The Muppets Christmas Carol. They're both amazing, and have been my favourites since childhood.

What food is your must have at Christmas time?

Forget Christmas cake and mince pies; it wouldn't be Christmas in our house without a tub of Cadbury Roses, some turkey sandwiches, all the desserts I mentioned earlier, and my brother-in-law's goose-fat roast potatoes.

If you had to choose between Michael Buble's Christmas album and Justin Bieber's Christmas album, which one would you choose and why?

Personally, I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than listen to either, but if I had to choose, I guess Michael Buble's would be the lesser of two forms of torture. For the record, I didn't mind his when it first came out, but it's become so inescapable that I've come to hate it.

What is your favourite memory about Christmas?

When I was little, I was so excited for Christmas, I woke around 3am on Christmas morning, and couldn't get back to sleep. My older sister was awake in the next room, so I crawled in to bed with her, and we came up with a plan to get Christmas morning to start earlier. Our 'brilliant' plan was to turn the clock forward a few hours, and I was sent to wake up our parents with the evidence that it was clearly morning, and time to open presents. Of course, their alarm clocks betrayed us, and they weren't fooled, but they gave in and let us get up at 6am, an hour earlier than they'd usually let us on Christmas Day. It's probably sounds really boring to you, but I just remember us both laughing a lot, and the memory still makes me smile.

When do you start decorating your place for Christmas?

We start decorating our home for Christmas from the 1st of December, although, in recent years, everyone's been so tired, and busy, sometimes we haven't get around to decorating downstairs until a few days before Christmas. I think this year might be one of those years as we haven't even started yet! I'm hoping to put decorations up in my bedroom over the next couple of days, though, as I finally picked up a little tree this morning.

If you were at Christmas karaoke, which 5 songs would you play?

Let's be clear; you won't ever catch me doing karaoke, so if you ever do, I must be very, very drunk or an imposter. Send for help. I can't sing to save my life, and I hate having all eyes on me. But, if someone held a gun to my head and forced me to sing, I would probably go with:

Last Christmas by Wham.

Undcrneath the Tree by Kelly Clarkson.

Step in to Christmas by Elton John.

All Alone on Christmas by Darlene Love.

Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney.

What are your top 4 Christmas movies?

Probably:

Santa Claus the Movie

The Muppets Christmas Carol

Little Women (1994)

and...

either The Family Stone / The Holiday / The Santa Clause / Home Alone. Can't choose!

What does Christmas really mean to you?

Spending some quality time with my family, and having a good excuse to spoil everyone with presents.

How old were you when you started asking questions about Father Christmas?

Questions? Why would I ask questions about Santa? Oh, you mean, what kind of cookies he likes? I was six or seven.

What do you think makes Christmas so magical?

I think it's a bit of everything; the twinkling decorations, the childhood Christmas Eve / Christmas morning excitement, families and friends coming together, the way it brings out kindness and generosity in most people... It always seems to transform the world in to a happier, kinder place for a month or two, and never fails to brighten up the dark winter days, and if that's not magical, I don't know what is.

Share your favourite photos from a previous Christmas.

I love this one of my dog, Rosie, taken on her first Christmas in 2016, when we dressed her up for the first time. (The hair bows were only added briefly as a joke). The poor pupper was so confused by it all, but she looked adorable.

And that's The Ultimate Christmas Tag.

I tag... anyone who wants to take part.

If you decide to give the tag a go on your own blog, do send me the link to your post so I can have a read!

What's your favourite thing about Christmas time?

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The Festive Christmas Book Tag

I found this fun bookish Christmas tag post a couple of years ago, and it's been sat in my drafts ever since, so I think it's time I gave it a go. There are eight festive book-related questions, and it was originally created by the Booktuber GirlReading. 

1. A fictional family you would like to spend Christmas dinner with.

I think it would be so much fun to spend Christmas with the Weasely family at The Burrow, although, Christmas with the March family at Orchard House would be lovely, too.

2. A bookish item you would like to receive as a gift

Sprayed-edged books, bookmarks inspired by my favourite books, or custom Funko Pops of Jacks the Prince of Hearts or Nikolai Lantsov would go down very well with me. Or, y'know, just a big stack of new books.

3. A fictional character you think would make a perfect Christmas elf.

Trying to avoid saying the obvious one- 'Dobby', I think Nikolai Lantsov from the Shadow and Bone / King of Scars books would make an excellent Christmas elf. He loves to invent and build things, the demon inside him could help keep kids in line around Santa, and let's face it, he'd look adorable adjusting his lapels in an elf suit. 

4. Match a book to its perfect Christmas song

I think Every Christmas Eve from the Santa Claus the Movie soundtrack would go perfectly with the first Christmas Eve scene in Little Women, when Marmee and the girls all settle around the fire to read the letter from Mr March, and are trying not to be sad that they're poor and not together.

5. Bah humbug! A book or fictional character you've been disappointed in and should be put on the naughty list.

Apollo from The Ballad of Never After. Considering what he did at the end of the book, he deserves to be be pelted with coal, and force-fed Brussels sprouts until the end of time. As should Stratt from Project Hail Mary for what she did to Ryland Grace. 

6. A book or fictional character you think deserves more love and appreciation and deserves to be put on the nice list.

Jacks the Prince of Hearts from the Caraval and Once upon a Broken Hearts books. Yes, he can kill people with his kiss, and manipulates people to get what he wants, but underneath, he's got a gentle side, and doesn't hesitate to put himself in danger to save people he cares about. The poor guy has been through so much, and just wants to be loved, but he can't have it because his (supposed) one-true-love- the only girl he can't kill with his kiss- chose another, and his kiss will kill the girl he actually loves. (He definitely loves her, don't try to convince me otherwise). And after what happened at the end of The Ballad of Never After, I think he could do with a hug, and some presents. Maybe a gift card for some therapy, or a cure for his curses so he can go get his girl?

7. Red, gold, and green. A book cover that has a wonderfully Christmassy feel to it.

I have a beautiful soft-green hardback of The Way Past Winter by Kiran Millwood Hargrave (this one), and it looks so wintry and festive.

8. A book or series you loved so much, you want everyone to find under their Christmas tree this year so they can read it, and love it, too?

I've read so many great books this year, so this is a tough one. I can't pick just one.

For people who love a good fantasy series, I'd tell Santa to bring them the Shadow and Bone / Six of Crows / King of Scars books by Leigh Bardugo, which are all fantastic fantasy trilogies or duologies set in the same magical world. I loved them all so much, that I devoured all seven books in under two months, and became completely obsessed- especially with Nikolai, who is one of the best book characters ever. There's now a graphic novel prequel called The Demon in the Wood, and the two companion books are worth reading, as well.

For those who prefer stand-alone books, I'd gift Dark Matter by Blake Crouch, Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir, The Cruel Prince by Holly Black, or The Ballad of Never After by Stephanie Garber. They're easily four of my favourite reads of 2022, and you need to read them.

And that's The Festive Christmas Book Tag.

Feel free to have a go at the tag on your own blog. If you do, remember to send me the link to your post so I can read your answers!

Which book(s) do you love so much you'd gift it to everyone this Christmas?

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Currently | October 2022

I can't remember the last time I sat down and wrote a 'currently' post about what I've been doing and enjoying lately, so I think it's about time I stopped by for a catch-up. 

Grab yourself a cuppa, make yourself comfortable; and help yourself to a biscuit.

So, what's new with you?

Lately, I've been...

Reading

I've read almost every day so far this year, and while I haven't read a crazy amount of books, I've still devoured a decent number. I'm currently on my thirty-eighth book of 2022, and only need to finish three to complete my Goodreads reading goal of forty, so I'm pleased with my progress. I've read some great books over the last few months (and a couple of not-so-great ones, too). I discovered Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo, and ploughed through all seven of her Grishaverse novels one after the other, plus an enchanting book of fairytales and another about saints set in the same world. I'm a little obsessed, if I'm honest- especially with Nikolai, who has to be one of my favourite book characters ever. It took me a while to get in to Six of Crows as it was a slow-starter and so different to the first three books, but by the time Matthais and Nina were added, and all of their characters' stories started to unravel, I was hooked. I've also reread the Caraval series as I needed another fantasy binge and a Jacks fix; got through a few psychological thrillers like The Blackbird by Tim Weaver and Do No Harm by Jack Jordan (both excellent), and The Last Party by Clare Mackintosh (which was not); and recently finished The Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum for the first time. I've also read a few Blake Crouch novels lately, and was especially engrossed in Dark Matter, which has to be one of the best books I've ever read. It's about a man who gets kidnapped and wakes up in a parallel universe where his wife isn't his wife, his son doesn't exist, and the company he works for are out to get him. Once he realises where he is, he has to figure out how to get back to his own world, and all kinds of crazy shit goes down as he tries to get back to his family. It was an incredible read, and the way the multiverse is explored was both mind-blowing and terrifying. Read it! Recursion was also brilliant, but Upgrade was so boring I had to force myself to keep reading. I then reread Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone for the first time in twenty-one years, which was lovely to return to. I've just finished The Ballad of Never After by Stephanie Garber, which I loved- especially Jacks and his patented blend of gentleness, mischieve, and playful cruelty, but the ending broke me. If Garber doesn't fix that ending in book three, I don't think my heart will ever recover. A few days ago, I finished reading The Lighthouse Witches by C.J. Cooke, a creepy thriller about a woman and her three daughters living in a lighthouse in Scotland that's cursed by witches and wildlings. In 1998, the mother and her daughters disappear one by one, and only one girl is seen again- until twenty-one years later, when one of the daughters reappears, still seven years old. It was a good, creepy little read, and perfect for autumn.  On Thursday, I read my first ever graphic novel- The Demon in the Wood by Leigh Bardugo. It's a prequel to Shadow and Bone about The Darkling and how he came to be, and the artwork is gorgeous. I'm now reading Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir, and I'm already hooked. I hope it's as good as The Martian. 

If you want to keep up with what I've been reading, you can find me on Goodreads here.

Watching

Recent screen favourites have included Shadow and Bone (especially Matthais- I mean, seriously, where can I get one?!), Stranger Things, Alba, Jurassic World Dominion, The Age of Adaline, Old, Greenland, A Quiet Place 1 & 2, Scream 5, the Neighbours finale (so sad it's over), and Home and Away. I've also started watching Locke and Key on Netflix, and The Night Sky on Prime, which I've been enjoying, but I've only watched a few episodes of each so far, and I recently watched an interesting documentary series on 9/11 on Disney+. Mostly, I've just been rewatching old favourites.

Listening

I haven't listened to a lot of new music lately, except for the new Panic! at the Disco album, Viva las Vengeance, which I'm really enjoying. I've mostly been playing a lot of Linkin Park and Dead by Sunrise, but hey, what's new?

Stitching 

I've hardly cross stitched at all this year as I've been so uninspired and haven't found anything I've wanted to stitch, but I've just gone back to stitching some Satsuma Street Christmas baubles designs I began last December. They're only little, so they won't take me long to sew, so I should have no trouble completing them in time for the festive season. I've finished two so far, and think I have five left to go.

Playing

I still love Animal Crossing New Horizons and enjoy relaxing with it every day. I've recently started a new island after getting frustrated with my old one when I was sick with Covid- then regretting it and resetting again- so I'm busy playing catch up, and also trying to make it look super autumnal with lots of pumpkins and orange foliage. I've also been working on lots of holiday homes with the add-on, Happy Home Paradise, which I find oddly addictive. Aside from AC, I regularly play FarmVille 3, and recently spent a fun evening on holiday playing Ghostbusters Monopoly, and getting taught how to play Disney Uno for the first time. I'm tempted to jump on the bandwagon and try Disney Dreamlight Valley next, as everyone seems to be obsessed with it, but I want to get a little further in Animal Crossing before I get addicted to another game.

Buying

I recently bought the coolest Labyrinth print smock dress from Truffle Shuffle. It's black and has a print of characters from the movie (like Jareth, Ludo, and Hoggle), and barn owls and the lyrics 'dance, magic dance' dotted in between. It's amazing, and so comfortable, too. It caters to both straight sizes and plus sizes up to a 24-26, and it's generously-sized, so I'd recommend sizing down. I also treated myself to a gorgeous red polka dot midi dress by Live Unlimited from Very with some belated birthday money, which I wore on my recent holiday to Cornwall. It's pretty, classic, and so comfy, too. Also very generously-sized. Aside from dresses, I've bought quite a few books lately- mostly from stumbling in to bookshops on holiday; a pumpkin witch brooch from Erstwilder; the cosiest new toadstool print pyjamas from ASOS Curve; and I've even picked up a few gifts and wrapping accessories for Christmas already. 

Wanting

All the books, some new dresses, this year's Essie and Benefit Advent calendars, to curl up in a pile of blankets like a burrito, the sequel to The Ballad of Never After to be out now because that ending broke me and needs fixing along with my heart, and the next series of Shadow and Bone to be released on Netflix already, 

Needing

New glasses, a hair cut, new pairs of ankle boots and Converse, a good concert, my tachycardia to calm the f*ck down, a cure for tinnitus before I go insane, some excitement in my life, and a new camera as I dropped and broke my Canon. *Sobs.*

Wishing 

I could rewind a month and enjoy my holiday all over again. Or that I was rich enough to take another one... I miss being by the sea.

Enjoying

A week's holiday down in Cornwall last month. It was so good to get away, spend some time by the sea, relax, eat some good food, and revisit some of my favourite places. I won't say any more now, as I'll be writing a separate post about what I got up to soon.

Loving

I recently tried the OGX coconut shampoo and conditioner, after picking up travel sizes for my holiday, and not only do they smell amazing, but they left my hair so soft and shiny, too. I'll definitely be buying them again.

Liking

The crisp chill in the air, the leaves changing colours, seeing hedges full of blackberries, the sound of dry leaves skipping along the tarmac in the breeze, and curling up under a blanket with a good book as the last of the daylight fades away in the evening. I'm liking these early autumn days a lot.

Eating

As I've been away, I've enjoyed some really good treats lately; my favourite fish and chips from Rick Stein's Fish and Chips, the most amazing berry roulade from a café on Padstow harbour, delicious junk food from a burger bar called The Hub Box in St. Ives, a few Cornish pasties, some great gelato from Pavilion Ice in Perranporth... it was a good week for food. I've also been loving Cadbury Mint Crisp chocolate, and may have enjoyed a Millie's Cookie or two last week... 

Drinking

I recently tried a really delicious raspberry lemonade from The Hub Box. It was just the right balance of tart and sweet, and had fresh raspberries in it. It was sooo good. More please.

Burning

the back of my hand on the oven the first time I tried cooking (well, heating) something in many moons. (Cooking hurts my back too much, so I don't often unless I have no other option). I really shouldn't be allowed in the kitchen. Luckily, the burn isn't too deep as I reacted fast, but boy, did it hurt. Fingers crossed it doesn't scar.

And that's life lately in a nut shell.

What have you been enjoying lately?

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