So yesterday's topic for day twenty of the blogging challenge was to 'get real. Share something you're struggling with right now.'
Well... I'm struggling to keep up with this challenge... but, in all seriousness, I suppose what I'm struggling most with at present is pain.
It's been twenty months since I injured several discs in my spine, and in all that time, I've adapted, and learnt to cope with and accept many changes and restrictions to my life. I'm perfectly at peace with the fact that my mobility is limited at the moment, and that I have to spend most of my time living from my bed instead of being able to have fun, travel, and socialise. I've adapted to many things; I've learnt my limitations, and I've learnt to live with them, or overcome them. However, there's one thing I've never truly been able to just get used to, and that's pain.
I struggle with pain on a daily basis. I've not been pain free since I first injured myself in September 2011, and although I'm used to living with the pain, I never quite get used to it. I'm in constant pain; it doesn't leave me for a second, yet it still knocks me for six on a regular basis. I assumed I'd be used to it by now, but I was wrong.
The pain is always searing hot, mostly across my lower back, but on the bad days it can travel up as far as my shoulders. It's difficult to describe, but it usually feels like I'm sitting against a scolding hot radiator while my spine is being pulled, pushed, and twisted all at once. It affects so many areas of my life from my mobility; to my ability to physically tolerate normal tasks such as sitting and walking; to my sleep. I don't sleep well anymore.
It's been particularly vicious over the last week or so, and I've been struggling to tolerate it, and function properly, which has left me living in my pyjamas, hence the lack of outfit posts recently.
Rest assured, I am not going to let the pain win the war, even if it is putting up a pretty good fight, and I shall keep fighting so I can return with some outfit posts really soon!
Oh lady, I can't even begin to imagine how you are feeling, I'm moaning like a bitch today because I've put my shoulder out. Your attitude is utterly amazing, you always seem so positive and I hope so much that you are pain free soon xx
ReplyDeleteThanks, Linz. Don't you worry, I'm just fine. You're more than entitled to moan when you're in pain! Any pain is horrible. I hope you're feeling better now; if not I really sympathise with you. Thank you so much. I'm sure I will get there eventually xx
DeleteYour so positive your amazing ! I hope your feeling better soon xx
ReplyDeleteThanks so much lovely. I'll get there xx
DeleteYou're so strong at coping with this Louise and I know it must be so awful, but you're so brave and positive though, a proper inspiration, I hope things look up soon xxx
ReplyDeleteAw thanks so much, Hannah. You're so lovely. I'm sure I'll start getting better soon xx
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