Polka Spots and Freckle Dots Turns Seven

Polka Spots and Freckle Dots turned seven last week (March 25th).

Seven!

My little space on the Internet is growing up so fast. How on Earth did that happen?!

I can't believe so many years have passed since I first logged in to Blogger, created this blog, and nervously sent my first post in to the endless void of the Internet. It feels like both a life time ago and no time at all a the same time.

When I started this blog seven years ago, I created it to share my outfits and work towards self-acceptance and body positivity. I mostly blogged headless mirror shots of my outfits, manicures I was wearing, shopping hauls, and other fashion and beauty related content. My photos were atrocious; all dark, grainy, unlevel, and poorly edited, and were taken on my iPod, Blackberry, or crappy old point and shoot. I gave no thought to arranging my product photos in to pretty flatlays; I just placed the item(s) on the nearest surface and pointed the camera, regardless of what was in the background. My writing was cringe-worthy, and most of my post titles were Linkin Park, Fall Out Boy, or Panic! at the Disco lyrics. Gems like: 'I Am a Wolf Among the Sheep Gnawing at the Wool Over My Eyes', and 'I'm Boring But Overcompensate With Headlines and Flash, Flash, Flash Photography.' What did they have to do with my posts about fashion and beauty? I have no idea, but that's okay, I was cool and mysterious AF!

I didn't care about SEO- in fact, I don't think I even knew what it was back then. I didn't even promote my posts on social media- not that I'm so great at self-promotion all these years later, either! I just blogged, and did it for the fun of it.

There was no stress about creating the perfect content, with beautiful photos and articulate writing. I wrote whatever crap came in to my mind, and uploaded the first photo I snapped, without spending two hours arranging a flatlay first, and taking 250 near-identical photos to get that one perfect shot. I could throw a post together in half an hour, and I looked forward to posting every day.

I had a lovely little following of (mostly) other blogger ladies I enjoyed chatting and interacting with who made blogging a pleasure. (Some of you are still following today- although, I have no idea why you've been reading my posts and supporting me all this time! Thank you!)

I loved those days!

Sometimes I find myself missing those early days of blogging. Sure, everything was less polished and perfect, but there was something wonderful about the simplicity and relatability of it all.

Blogging has changed so much since I first started blogging, but that's not necessarily a bad thing; it's just different. Things change, people change, I've changed... and that's life. 

My blog content has changed somewhat over the years, too. The fashion and beauty posts have reduced due to having little money for new clothes and rarely having enough energy to get dressed and made up, and other topics, such as crafts, adventures, books, chronic illness, pets, and life have been added in to the mix. My posts have become less frequent because of my health, and I can't always post the content I want to, but I like to think the quality of my work has at least improved over the years. There's a lot of room for improvement, but I can be proud of myself knowing I always put 110% in to every post I create.

I may not be a famous blogger with a huge following making millions from her blog, but I'm not sure I even want to be. I'm happy with where my blog has taken me over the years. I've worked with some fantastic brands, made friends with some amazing people I would never have known otherwise, and learnt so many new skills along the way. It's kept me going through seven of the hardest years of my life, and to me, that is the greatest achievement I could ever ask for.

Right from the start, Polka Spots was a much needed distraction from the chronic back and spinal pain I had been struggling to cope with for six months, and not only helped me deal with the pain, being bed ridden, and losing the life I knew, but gave me a purpose in life I so desperately needed again. It gave me a reason to get up in the morning and something to throw myself in to every day instead of mindlessly watching daytime TV. It provided me with an outlet when I was struggling with the pain and desperately mourning my old life, and had nobody to talk to. It offered a place to vent when I'd had frustrating and soul-crushing experiences with doctors and physiotherapists who were rude and indifferent, and weren't interested in helping me. It did all that and so much more. And it's continued to help me cope with my chronic pain and chronic illnesses, and this unconventional life of being housebound ever since.

This blog has helped me through scans and treatments and diagnoses, surprising test results, and plenty of frustrating encounters with the NHS and DWP. It's been there for me when the pain has been raging and my other symptoms have been so unbearable I've struggled to cope and wished for death to escape it. It's given me comfort when I've been struggling with missing out on life and grieving the life I lost, feeling lonely and depressed, and all kinds of emotions that come with living with chronic illness that we / I don't often talk about. It's been here for me every step of the way for seven years, and for that I'm grateful. I couldn't have got through the years without the blog to help me, and I can't imagine how much harder the last seven years would have been without it to keep me going, and help me through. Starting my blog was the best decision I could've made.

I know I've been very quiet here over the last few months, but I promise I haven't given up on blogging. There is still so much I want to share. I'm just struggling with my health at the moment, and while I've tried to, I haven't been up to blogging much since Christmas. My arthritis has worsened considerably since December, causing my hands and fingers (and knees, toes, hips, and other joints) to swell and stiffen on an almost daily basis. The pain in them has been so horrendous lately, I've had difficulty using my hands for anything, including typing and taking photos, and my knees have been so bad, I've not been out of bed or downstairs in a month. I've also been inflicted with the worst episodes of brain fog and writer's block to date, making blogging even more difficult. I've been having serious difficulty thinking straight, remembering and making sense of things, and recalling words, so whenever I've tried to write, the words just haven't come. It's been stressing and frustrating the hell out of me! I can't do a lot about the brain fog, but I think I just need time to find my groove with my degenerating arthritis, and the new me, and learn to function a little more efficiently again. It always takes time to get used to big changes to your day to day health with chronic illnesses, but I know I'll get there. I always do.

I'm hopeful I'll be able to get back in to the swing of things here this spring. There are so many products I want to review and things I want to write about. I'd love to get Polka Spots back where it used to be and make it a fun and colourful place for you to visit. I want to bring back more fashion and beauty posts again, and also add more crafts, books, stationery, chronic illness, and lifestyle posts. I want to get back to the fun and excitement blogging brought to me seven years ago, and try to avoid making blogging stressful because it shouldn't be. I want blogging to be enjoyable, and not make me want to pull my hair out because I can't get my photos to look perfect or I can't think what I want to say for a post I'd planned. That stress isn't good for my health. It's time to get back to a more carefree attitude towards blogging, and a good balance between hard work and self-care.

I don't know what the next seven years have in store for my blog, but I'm not going anywhere, and I'm looking forward to finding out where they take me. I hope you guys will join me for the ride.

Thank you for all your support over the last seven years, whether you've been with me since the start, or are a new follower. I don't know why you chose to follow and stick with me, but it means the world to me and I appreciate every single one of you. Thank you so much! You guys are the best.

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