Polka Spots and Freckle Dots Turns Seven

Polka Spots and Freckle Dots turned seven last week (March 25th).

Seven!

My little space on the Internet is growing up so fast. How on Earth did that happen?!

I can't believe so many years have passed since I first logged in to Blogger, created this blog, and nervously sent my first post in to the endless void of the Internet. It feels like both a life time ago and no time at all a the same time.

When I started this blog seven years ago, I created it to share my outfits and work towards self-acceptance and body positivity. I mostly blogged headless mirror shots of my outfits, manicures I was wearing, shopping hauls, and other fashion and beauty related content. My photos were atrocious; all dark, grainy, unlevel, and poorly edited, and were taken on my iPod, Blackberry, or crappy old point and shoot. I gave no thought to arranging my product photos in to pretty flatlays; I just placed the item(s) on the nearest surface and pointed the camera, regardless of what was in the background. My writing was cringe-worthy, and most of my post titles were Linkin Park, Fall Out Boy, or Panic! at the Disco lyrics. Gems like: 'I Am a Wolf Among the Sheep Gnawing at the Wool Over My Eyes', and 'I'm Boring But Overcompensate With Headlines and Flash, Flash, Flash Photography.' What did they have to do with my posts about fashion and beauty? I have no idea, but that's okay, I was cool and mysterious AF!

I didn't care about SEO- in fact, I don't think I even knew what it was back then. I didn't even promote my posts on social media- not that I'm so great at self-promotion all these years later, either! I just blogged, and did it for the fun of it.

There was no stress about creating the perfect content, with beautiful photos and articulate writing. I wrote whatever crap came in to my mind, and uploaded the first photo I snapped, without spending two hours arranging a flatlay first, and taking 250 near-identical photos to get that one perfect shot. I could throw a post together in half an hour, and I looked forward to posting every day.

I had a lovely little following of (mostly) other blogger ladies I enjoyed chatting and interacting with who made blogging a pleasure. (Some of you are still following today- although, I have no idea why you've been reading my posts and supporting me all this time! Thank you!)

I loved those days!

Sometimes I find myself missing those early days of blogging. Sure, everything was less polished and perfect, but there was something wonderful about the simplicity and relatability of it all.

Blogging has changed so much since I first started blogging, but that's not necessarily a bad thing; it's just different. Things change, people change, I've changed... and that's life. 

My blog content has changed somewhat over the years, too. The fashion and beauty posts have reduced due to having little money for new clothes and rarely having enough energy to get dressed and made up, and other topics, such as crafts, adventures, books, chronic illness, pets, and life have been added in to the mix. My posts have become less frequent because of my health, and I can't always post the content I want to, but I like to think the quality of my work has at least improved over the years. There's a lot of room for improvement, but I can be proud of myself knowing I always put 110% in to every post I create.

I may not be a famous blogger with a huge following making millions from her blog, but I'm not sure I even want to be. I'm happy with where my blog has taken me over the years. I've worked with some fantastic brands, made friends with some amazing people I would never have known otherwise, and learnt so many new skills along the way. It's kept me going through seven of the hardest years of my life, and to me, that is the greatest achievement I could ever ask for.

Right from the start, Polka Spots was a much needed distraction from the chronic back and spinal pain I had been struggling to cope with for six months, and not only helped me deal with the pain, being bed ridden, and losing the life I knew, but gave me a purpose in life I so desperately needed again. It gave me a reason to get up in the morning and something to throw myself in to every day instead of mindlessly watching daytime TV. It provided me with an outlet when I was struggling with the pain and desperately mourning my old life, and had nobody to talk to. It offered a place to vent when I'd had frustrating and soul-crushing experiences with doctors and physiotherapists who were rude and indifferent, and weren't interested in helping me. It did all that and so much more. And it's continued to help me cope with my chronic pain and chronic illnesses, and this unconventional life of being housebound ever since.

This blog has helped me through scans and treatments and diagnoses, surprising test results, and plenty of frustrating encounters with the NHS and DWP. It's been there for me when the pain has been raging and my other symptoms have been so unbearable I've struggled to cope and wished for death to escape it. It's given me comfort when I've been struggling with missing out on life and grieving the life I lost, feeling lonely and depressed, and all kinds of emotions that come with living with chronic illness that we / I don't often talk about. It's been here for me every step of the way for seven years, and for that I'm grateful. I couldn't have got through the years without the blog to help me, and I can't imagine how much harder the last seven years would have been without it to keep me going, and help me through. Starting my blog was the best decision I could've made.

I know I've been very quiet here over the last few months, but I promise I haven't given up on blogging. There is still so much I want to share. I'm just struggling with my health at the moment, and while I've tried to, I haven't been up to blogging much since Christmas. My arthritis has worsened considerably since December, causing my hands and fingers (and knees, toes, hips, and other joints) to swell and stiffen on an almost daily basis. The pain in them has been so horrendous lately, I've had difficulty using my hands for anything, including typing and taking photos, and my knees have been so bad, I've not been out of bed or downstairs in a month. I've also been inflicted with the worst episodes of brain fog and writer's block to date, making blogging even more difficult. I've been having serious difficulty thinking straight, remembering and making sense of things, and recalling words, so whenever I've tried to write, the words just haven't come. It's been stressing and frustrating the hell out of me! I can't do a lot about the brain fog, but I think I just need time to find my groove with my degenerating arthritis, and the new me, and learn to function a little more efficiently again. It always takes time to get used to big changes to your day to day health with chronic illnesses, but I know I'll get there. I always do.

I'm hopeful I'll be able to get back in to the swing of things here this spring. There are so many products I want to review and things I want to write about. I'd love to get Polka Spots back where it used to be and make it a fun and colourful place for you to visit. I want to bring back more fashion and beauty posts again, and also add more crafts, books, stationery, chronic illness, and lifestyle posts. I want to get back to the fun and excitement blogging brought to me seven years ago, and try to avoid making blogging stressful because it shouldn't be. I want blogging to be enjoyable, and not make me want to pull my hair out because I can't get my photos to look perfect or I can't think what I want to say for a post I'd planned. That stress isn't good for my health. It's time to get back to a more carefree attitude towards blogging, and a good balance between hard work and self-care.

I don't know what the next seven years have in store for my blog, but I'm not going anywhere, and I'm looking forward to finding out where they take me. I hope you guys will join me for the ride.

Thank you for all your support over the last seven years, whether you've been with me since the start, or are a new follower. I don't know why you chose to follow and stick with me, but it means the world to me and I appreciate every single one of you. Thank you so much! You guys are the best.

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Polka Spots and Freckle Dots Turns Six

I can't believe my little space on the Internet turned six yesterday!

How did that happen, and where has the time gone? It only feels like two minutes since I signed up to Blogger, created my blog with a generic blog design, and nervously posted my first blog post- an introductory post with a grainy, headless mirror-shot of myself in my favourite black polka dot dress.

When I published that first post all those years ago, I never imagined that I would still be blogging here regularly six years later. To be honest, I expected it to keep my interest for a couple of months at most, until I gradually lost interest and moved on to the next big thing like I had with past ventures like Livejournal and an old Tumblr blog. I had no long-term plans or expectations from starting a blog; I simply wanted a distraction and something to fill my time while I was on bed rest with chronic pain (or "disc injuries" as I knew them back then). 

After six months of being house bound and bed ridden from excruciating constant back pain, I was bored and going stir crazy; there's only so much reading, watching daytime TV, and surfing the net you can do day after day without losing the will to live. I had been reading plus size fashion blogs for six months after discovering the wonderful world of body positivity and fat acceptance on Tumblr soon after becoming ill, and it was through reading those blogs that I found the confidence to begin my own, and start sharing my outfits and love of fashion. Reading those fatshion blogs had gradually helped me to start accepting myself, after a lifetime of hating my body and truly believing I was an enormous, hideous fat freak nobody could ever find attractive, and I hoped that through blogging my outfits, I could work towards self-acceptance, and perhaps even show other plus size people that they could enjoy fashion, too.

If you're a relatively new reader, you might be confused by the mention of outfits, but at the beginning, Polka Spots was actually a plus size fashion blog, with a few beauty posts thrown in for good measure. I shared my outfits, fashion I was loving, fashion and beauty hauls, manicures I had created, and beauty products I had been using. Over time, as my health deteriorated further and I had less money to spend, outfits became less frequent, and it morphed in to an everything blog. I added in lifestyle posts, book reviews, travel posts, health updates, lists, crafts, day in the life posts, home, puppy posts, and more. Posts became more sporadic and less exciting for reasons out of my control, and sharing my outfits fizzled out.

Although it's been a couple of years since I last blogged the kind of content I was truly passionate about and could be proud of on a regular basis, I've continued to blog regularly for six whole years. I've never committed myself to any other hobby, interest, or project on an almost-daily basis with such dedication for this long before, and I'm proud of myself for applying myself to my blog. I'm proud of myself for all the time and effort I've sunk in to this little blog of mine, and for all I've achieved over the years.

Sure, I'm not the best blogger in the world. I'm not the best writer or the best photographer; I don't always write the most interesting posts, or post every day of the week. I don't have a large following, and I'm not a famous blogger making millions from my blog, but I appreciate my small following- every one of you, my readers, even if it doesn't appear that way when I'm slow to reply to comments and messages. I promise I'll get better at that. I always put 110% in to every post I create, and I enjoy blogging, and that's really what matters at the end of the day. 

All I wanted from this blog was a distraction from living life on bed rest with chronic pain, and I've managed to give myself that for six whole years. My blog has kept me occupied while I've been house bound and given me something to aim for and fill my time with every day. I've rarely been bored in six years because there are always posts to write, edit, and promote, flatlays to create, photographs to take, things to tweak, messages to answer, social media to engage in, and so much more. Without this blog to work on, I know these six years would have been much harder to cope with because I would've been bored out of my brain without the distraction. Having something to do every day has given me something to get up for every day, taken my mind off the constant fiery sting of chronic back pain, and provided me with an outlet through diagnosis, treatments, bad experiences with doctors and physiotherapists, and the moments I've been at my lowest. I don't even want to imagine how much harder the last six years of my life with chronic pain and chronic illness would've been without this blog to keep me going, but I'm certain the experience would have been very different and that I wouldn't be the same person I am today. Starting this blog when I did was without a doubt the best decision I could've made.

Over the last six years, I've published 1324 blog posts. That's a whole lot of posts about fashion, beauty, lifestyle, travel, chronic illness, crafts, lists, books, and more. This post makes 1325. I've worked with some wonderful brands, and created work that I am proud of. I've worked hard to improve the quality of my writing and photography, but there's a lot of room for improvement and I doubt I'll ever stop working on that. I've also gained some wonderful readers and made some lovely friends through blogging I would never have had the pleasure of 'knowing' otherwise, and I'm so grateful for that. I love being part of this fantastic community of such talented and inspiring people.

I may have been blogging here for six years now, but I have no intention of stopping just yet. I intend to keep going as long as possible. A week ago, I gave the blog a whole new look with a beautiful new Pipdig blog design, and I'm working on making Polka Spots and Freckle Dots better than ever. I want to do my best to bring better content back to the blog, with more fashion, beauty, and lifestyle posts again; more reviews of products I've been buying and enjoying, books I've been reading, manicures I've been wearing, and when I'm feeling up to it, the odd outfit post here and there. It's time to get back to blogging the way I used to... but better. At some point I'm also hoping to rebrand because I've hated my blog name for about, oh, I don't know, five years, eleven months, and it makes me cringe every time I see it, but one thing at a time...

I don't know where the future will take Polka Spots or myself as a blogger, but I genuinely look forward to finding out, and working on creating lots of new content for you guys. I hope you'll join me for the ride.

Thanks for all of your support over the last six years; it means more to me than you'll ever know.  You guys are amazing.

Here's to the next six!

Polka Spots and Freckle Dots Turns Two!

My little blog, Polka Spots and Freckle Dots is two years old today!

How on earth did that happen?

I can't believe that it's been two years since I created this blog, and sent my first post in to the virtual world. I can still remember how much my heart was racing when I published those introductory words; I was scared of putting myself out there and revealing my true self online. I'd kept Livejournal and Tumblr blogs before, but apart from the odd photo on Twitter, I'd never really posted photos of myself online where strangers could see them. It was a frightening concept.

During the six months leading up to starting this blog, when I first injured my back, I'd discovered the world of body positivity, size acceptance, and plus size fashion blogs through Tumblr. I was so inspired by these women who were unashamed and confident in their own skin, that I began to see myself in a different light. I began to accept myself for who I was a little more each day and this new found body-confidence continued to grow as I continued to read these blogs day after day.

By March 2012, I'd passed the sixth month mark of living with disc injuries, and I was bored. Six months of being house-bound will do that to you. I was constantly coming up with new ways to keep myself busy, and one night I decided I would start a blog where I could share my outfits and personal style. My outfits were playing a big part in raising my spirits, so I simply thought it would be fun to document them, and work towards accepting myself whilst beating boredom. Simple as that.

I didn't start with any expectations or aspirations; I didn't expect to gain a single reader. To be honest, I assumed I'd just end up writing sporadically for myself, as I did with my old Livejournal blogs, before eventually abandoning it.

I could never have imagined the impact that little blog would have on me and my life over those two years. My blog has been a life line for me to cling to while my life has been on hiatus and I've felt dislocated from the person I once was. It's kept me sane during those long hours spent in bed and occupied me through countless waves of insomnia. It's been there for me when I've felt isolated and alone, lost and let down, frustrated and angry, upset and fed up. More than anything, it's been an enormous distraction from the pain and provided me with a purpose day after day.

My blog is never far from my thoughts, and I spent most of my time during the past two years working on it. There is always something to be done; a post to write, photos to edit, comments and emails to reply to, products to research, improvements to be made. Thanks to blogging, I'm always busy. And I like it that way. I like to be busy. I don't want to give myself enough time to reflect on the pain or what I'm missing out on in life.

This blog has also helped to raise both my self-confidence and my body-confidence. I'd spent twenty-six years of my life hating myself, my body and my appearance, but blogging has helped me to start accepting myself. I'm still on that yellow brick road to self-acceptance, but thanks to this learning curve, I'm now further along the road than I ever thought was possible.

I've learnt that life is far too short to waste hating yourself and the skin you're in. It's funny that it took a back injury and the loss of my freedom and independence for me to realise that! I owe my injuries a lot!

While my blog hasn't become famous or gained a large following, I've gained a lovely little readership, some amazing regular readers whose support means so much to me, and I've made some wonderful blog friends. Every comment, tweet, and email of support means the world to me, and I love being part of such a fantastic community of inspiring  women.

I've learnt so much and have been blessed with some amazing opportunities.

I've published 615 posts during the last 730 days, rarely leaving more than a day or two between posts. That's a lot of content!

I've shared a countless selection of my favourite outfits, as weird, wonderful, or dull as they may be. Anybody would think I favoured a certain style...

I shared a glance at a handful of my make up looks. I'm addicted to colourful make up, and only wish I'd managed to share more of the looks I wore. I want to work on bringing you more of them.

I featured a variety of my manicures and wrote nail polish reviews. I wore a rainbow of colours, and tried my hand at a little nail art here and there. This blog has turned me in to a nail polish addict!

I've shared glances in to my wardrobe, dressing table, handbags, and collections. I've talked about my shopping hauls and reviewed clothes, accessories, cosmetics, and books. I've spent hours putting wish lists collages, and Serendipity Sunday favourites together each week. I've shared snippets of my life. I've talked about living with disc injuries, and blogged about a plethora of other topics. It's seems crazy to look back on it all and see where it has taken me!

I think my blogging style has improved a lot over two years, but I still have so much left to learn. I'm not the best writer or photographer in the world, or the best blogger, but I enjoy giving it a shot, and I'm constantly trying to do the best  I can.

Polka Spots and Freckle Dots has become more than just a blog to me; it's become a life line and a life style. And I owe it so much. I owe every one of you who reads, supports, and visits my blog so much! I can't express just how much your support means to me, but I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart, you truly fabulous people!

I honestly believe that the last two years of living with disc injuries would have been far more horrendous without this blog to throw myself in to. I don't even want to think about where I would be now; I don't think it would be a pretty picture. Thankfully, it has been there and kept me afloat during the most difficult time of my life so far, and I can't wait to see where it takes me over the next two years!

Here's to another two years of dresses, polka dots, animal motifs, novelty handbags, colourful eye make up, rainbow nail polish, product reviews, shopping hauls, wish lists, Serendipity Sundays, grainy photographs, fan girling, rants, musings, and randomness!